Matt Gaetz's Wingman Buddy Got A Whole Lot More Cooperatin' To Do

Crime

Still the most upsetting screengrab we have ever gotten of Matt Gaetz's face.

Here's a little tidbit of news that landed on us yesterday afternoon!

We haven't heard much lately about the federal sex crimes investigation into disgusting gross GOP Florida Man Rep. Matt Gaetz. We feel like the last major update we got was in August, maybe? In that update, we learned that Gaetz's wingman Joel Greenberg — who has been cooperating with the feds since at least the spring, when he pleaded guilty to six federal charges, and maybe quite a bit longer than that — was "steadily providing information and handing over potential evidence that could implicate the Florida congressman and others in the sprawling probe," according to ABC News.

There were other details in that report, but you don't want to read them, it's too early in the morning. But hey, if you want to read text messages where Greenberg is chatting up women to negotiate "allowances" for hanging out with his "friend" and yeah just ugh nope.

The news from yesterday is that Greenberg's lawyer asked the judge to delay his sentencing until March so he can cooperate a whole lot more, and prosecutors were fine with that. Greenberg was supposed to be sentenced in November, but we guess he's got more than just another month of cooperation in him. So that should be comforting news for Gaetz!


The Orlando Sentinel explains:

Greenberg is currently slated to be sentenced Nov. 18. But in a newly filed motion, his attorney Fritz Scheller said that Greenberg's cooperation with investigators, which was a condition of his plea deal "cannot be completed prior to the time of his sentencing."

"The parties expect that Mr. Greenberg will participate in additional proffers, and a continuance would provide Mr. Greenberg with additional time to do so prior to his sentencing," the motion states.

Yes, we bet Matt Gaetz slept very well last night.

We are not a lawyer, but we are GUESSING that if the feds want to keep Greenberg cooperating with them for several extra months, that means his cooperation is fruitful. We are just guessing. Oh wait, we don't have to guess, because the filing basically says that:

Pursuant to his plea agreement with the Government, Mr. Greenberg has been cooperating with the Government and has participated in a series of proffers. Said cooperation, which could impact his ultimate sentence, cannot be completed prior to the time of his sentencing. The parties expect that Mr. Greenberg will participate in additional proffers, and a continuance would provide Mr. Greenberg with additional time to do so prior to his sentencing.

If you are just jones-ing for more Matt Gaetz news to read, the Daily Beast recently had a thing on the team of lawyers he's put together. Short version: These are likely not the lawyer hirings of somebody who thinks this is all going to go away quietly!

This has been an update on Matt Gaetz where we didn't have to mention his penis. Of course we just ruined that, by mentioning that this blog post does not reference Matt Gaetz's penis. All our apologies.

[Orlando Sentinel /filing]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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