The Twitter, it is outraged at Serious Presidential Candidate Rand Paul, who is a dick, for doing another dick thing. According to the internet, which is always correct, Rand Paul had a full-on meltdown temper tantrum at Guardian reporter Paul Lewis, who was just trying to get him to answer a gotcha question about his support for criminal justice reform. How will that play with all the racist fundamentalist fucknozzle Iowans he needs to pander to win the Republican nomination to lose to Hillary Clinton? But did Rand Paul, who is a dick, actually act like a dick this time? Some say yea, some say nay. Let us Do Journalism, by watching a video and deciding for ourselves!


As it begins, we see Rand Paul, giving "I'm Bored" face at the reporter (who is a BOY, therefore Paul was being honest when he said he's an equal opportunity dick), who asks the mean aforementioned question, at which point Paul does his little "your premise is incorrect, bad question" song and dance, because he is a dick. The journalist begins to ask a follow-up question, and then Paul is like "Okay, going now!" Lewis then says he guesses Paul left so quickly because he knew he was about to get asked a hard question. Then the lights go out.

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And maybe that IS why he left abruptly. But sorry, internets, there was no "meltdown." Also, astute listeners will note that at the very beginning of the clip, Rand Paul says "one more question," and the reporter says it back to him, so we're guessing this means that Paul was going to answer "one more question," as opposed to "so many more questions."

At first it was being reported that Paul's staff turned off the lights, but Paul, Lewis and CNN's Dana Bash ALL tweeted that no, it was Bash's posse that turned them off, because they were scheduled to interview Paul right after. Bash confirmed that Paul did "get annoyed" with Lewis, probably for asking questions. This makes sense, because Rand Paul is a dick.

So we guess that settles that part of it, huh. Teach The Controversy, of course, but that seems pretty conclusive.

We can, however, report that the reigning Stupidest Man On The Internet, Chuck C. Johnson, who will have to give his tiara RIGHT BACK to Jim Hoft if God miraculously heals his brain and he is unable to perform his duties, really wishes Paul would be MORE of an asshole to these "reporters" with their "questions" about "stuff and things":

Okay, Chuck, we are glad to know about your ragegasm sex fantasies about Rand Paul, please don't tell us more.

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For any who are disappointed that Rand Paul didn't actually seem to do anything COMPLETELY terrible this time, please enjoy the fact that every single other thing he did this week was a giant, flaming fuckup, and rest easy in the knowledge that there will be more next week.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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