Unfuckable face

John Boehner called Ted Cruz many mean names like "Lucifer" and "miserable son of a bitch" and "Ted Cruz." This is old news from hours ago. But now Ted Cruz has responded, and it is ... ??? Let's go to the tape!

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"If you're happy with John Boehner as speaker of the House and you want a president like John Boehner, Donald Trump is your man," Cruz said.

Boring. But please proceed, Senator!

"I've never worked with John Boehner," Cruz continued. "Truth of the matter is I don't know the man...If I had said 50 words to John Boehner in my life, I would be surprised."

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]He's ... never worked with John Boehner? Nor spoken 50 words to him? But wasn't John Boehner the (Republican!) speaker of the House when Cruz held the government hostage for a ransom of $2 to $6 billion in 2013? He was! Shouldn't the man in the Senate trying to shut down the government have spoken at least 50 words to the guy from his own party who was in charge of the House at that time? You would think so! Did Ted Cruz give one single solitary ratfuck? Apparently, he did not!

For all the plaintive whines about how President Barack Hussein ISIS Stalin Bin Laden is a "divider" who is constantly hurting Republicans' feelings by not "reaching across the aisle" (to give them handjobs, in their butts), by his own account el Senador could not even be bothered to reach across ... I don't know, because there is not even a metaphor for being such a dick in and to your own party!

Anyway, that is probably why everyone hates Ted Cruz. Plus his face.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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