415 Comments
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smitallica's avatar

It's like every sentence is a lecture from a preacher who knows we are all sinners, except him.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

He's up for reelection in 2018, and I'm sure he'll make another run for Prez in 2020.

Crossroads at Anhedonia Jct.23's avatar

Given Cruz's track record, I believe this is what's in store for his next reincarnation.

Minie Mouse's avatar

No fool would accept this pointless nomination; perhaps as you mentioned there is more to it or there was another big payoff

The Psy of Life's avatar

I don't think there is a Republican that actually wants the nomination for president. I think Ted "Basketball Ring" Cruz is glad to be seen as fighting the good fight, but just lost. Aw shucks. Drumpf never thought he'd be here in the first place, but now that he's here... meh? Why not? John "Why Won't Anyone Coalesce Behind Me? You're Too Much of a Idiot" Kasich doesn't really know what he's doing but would do whatever. So, yeah. Maybe there is more to it than meets the eye.

Stein Olsen's avatar

Wait a minute. Didn't he say god totally spoke to Cruz first? http://www.motherjones.com/...

Merle-Morrigan's avatar

I know you love your dick jokes, however when I first heard this my 'revelation' was this.Heidi didn't want Ted to run for POTUS in the first placethey held a 'prayer vigil' on bended knee UNTIL SHE GAVE OUTthat's why it was UP TO HER to say, yes, lets do itand her hand was forced.Geeze what some people will put up with.

paltroony v@195's avatar

OK, votes are in. Cruz is a shitpile. End of statement. Now, I want him and his cyst-mate, Horsehead, to vanish. I am so sick of both of them. Two of the most physically and morally repulsive people to ever garner a half tone in the local daily.

alpoochini's avatar

Great commentary! You're right it's amazing Ted said he hadn't spoken 50 words to Boehner when it's well known that he tortured him for months. Ted really should have had a better comeback that that.

MyLovelyNose's avatar

You can't reach across the aisle when you're jacking yourself off with both hands.

tinker12's avatar

Cruz Missal is a pathological liar. Every fkin' thing he says is a lie. Like all Republicans.

Michael Lindholm's avatar

Yeah, God spoke to him, all right.

Michael Lindholm's avatar

That'd be twice in the last 25 years Hell froze over. It froze over when the Eagles reunited in the 90s, too.

Michael Lindholm's avatar

And Charles and David Koch were well pleased with those people on their knees....