Gimme a break! Gimme a break! Break me off a piece of that CHLOROQUINE YOU ARE EATING FOR BREAKFAST!

The best part of waking up is CHLOROQUINE IN YOUR MOUTH!

Like a good neighbor, CHLOROQUINE PROBABLY WON'T KILL YOU BUT MAYBE IT WILL? ANYWAY EAT IT!

Those are commercials you might see on Fox News in about a week, once its hosts have gone (more) feral. But don't worry, they're still over there hyping the alleged miracle drugs hydroxychloroquine and chloroquine, which they are just pretty sure cure coronavirus, even though Dr. Anthony Fauci has been crapping on all the so-called "studies" that have "shown" it's effective. Hell, on Friday, Fauci basically told Dr. Oz and the "Fox & Friends" clown couch to pound sand and go cry to their mommies afterward.

(And to be clear: If actual science finds out those drugs are somehow useful, we are all for it! But actual science has not found that yet. Here is a good fact sheet on what we actually know about the drug so far.)

Monday's "Fox & Friends" was pretty special. Here is known real doctor "Dr. Oz" bellyaching that mean science people keep calling the evidence on chloroquine and hydroxychloroquine treatments "anecdotal," and mean old Dr. Fauci keeps pissing on his Chlorn-Flakes about it. Dr. Oz is also mad that Fauci is not showing proper "respect" for the French study on it what has got all the Fox Newsers so excited. (Also not showing proper respect for the study? The journal that published it.)


Our favorite part of that clip is where Brian Kilmeade whines that Dr. Fauci "couldn't have been more dismissive of my question on Friday." Yes, Dr. Fauci was very mean to Brian Kilmeade, who asked stupid questions on Friday.

Want to breathe some more Fox News hydroxychloroquine into your lungs, but not into your heart, because it turns out that drug can cause sudden cardiac arrest, among other side effects? Here's Trump trade adviser idiot Peter Navarro, who says "history" will decide who was right about the chloroquines, but if he's a betting man (and he is!), then he'd "bet on President Trump's intuition." (Yes, the same "intuition" that made Trump the laughingstock of the business world, to the point that no real American banks will lend him money. Also the same Trump "intuition" that is NOT A DOCTOR.)

Yes, Navarro is the same moron who got in a big chloro-fight in the Sit Room this weekend, because Dr. Fauci was mean to him.

And like, OK, maybe Dr. Anthony Fauci is a scientist. But that does not mean Peter Navarro is not also too a scentist! He is a "social scientist," as he explained to CNN's John Berman on Monday. No really, he said that, and that because of his status as a "social scientist," he is just really good at reading all the studies. Maybe he is even better at it than Dr. Fauci!

"My qualifications in terms of looking at the science is that I'm a social scientist," Navarro told the anchor. "I have a Ph.D., and I understand how to read statistical studies, whether it's in medicine, the law, economics, or whatever."

Oh my God.

And that was just Monday's "Fox & Friends"/Trump idiots. Do you really want to see Tuesday's "Fox & Friends" idiots?

Ugh, Fine. Here Are Tuesday's Idiots.

SPOILER, it is all the same idiots, saying the same idiot things.

And golly gee jumpin' Jehoshaphat, Dr. Oz just has to laugh, because of how everybody seems to think they are an expert now!

Dr. Oz says the all the lupus doctors "in the lupus area" are just "stunned" that people are so skeptical of all of this, because all the doctors "in the lupus area" are in love with hydroxychloroquine. Selena Gomez's doctor says!

And Brian Kilmeade seems to have access to secret information "as a layman" that none of the people who ever took chloroquine for lupus have coronavirus, or maybe he doesn't:

Do YOU have lupus and also coronavirus? Dr. Oz would like you to go to his website so you can tell him about it!

Oh my God.

Why Is This Happening? Why?

The Daily Beast has a horrifying and depressing story out about how Donald Trump is getting more and more dismissive of actual experts, and more and more excited about listening to actual fucking morons, when it comes to how to handle the novel coronavirus. We already knew he was listening to Rudy Giuliani, but did you know he is also getting expert advice from that idiot up there Dr. Oz? It is almost too perfect:

As the global pandemic and a staggering economic crisis swells, Dr. Mehmet Oz, the controversial celebrity doctor, has been advising senior Trump administration officials on coronavirus-related matters. [...]

In the past couple of weeks, Trump began hearing more and more about—and watching Oz, now a Fox News regular, discuss—hydroxychloroquine, an anti-malaria drug that Trump aggressively touted as a coronavirus treatment, much to the dismay of various medical experts and scientists. Over these two weeks, the president had specifically made a point of telling aides that he was interested in what Oz had to say and that he wished to speak to the much-maligned television personality, according to two people familiar with the president's requests.

Has Idiot One talked to Idiot Two on the phone yet? The Daily Beast is not sure. But senior Trump people, "including Trump's administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, Seema Verma," sure have!

Not all the Trump idiots on the idiot farm are into it, though:

"It is very annoying to some of us that Dr. Oz is trying to poke his head in and get more involved in this," said a senior administration official who works closely with the task force. "This shouldn't be a celebrity showcase... Are we going to deputize Dr. Drew and Dr. Spaceman next?"

OK, we do not make a habit of being friendly with Trump idiots, but if "senior administration official" who referenced Dr. Spaceman in the same sentence with Dr. Drew and Dr. Oz emails us and gives us your true identity, we will send you a gift card. (Fauci, was that you?)

As the Beast notes, there is always a tweet. Hey, Donald Trump in 2014, tell us why Donald Trump in 2020 is an absolute moron.

Trust us, we are.

Read the whole Daily Beast thing when you have time, it's all terrifying.

Let's end this with a good video from Fox News, where idiot Dana Perino asks Dr. William Haseltine, a Fox News contributor who is somehow an actual expert, to comment on Dr. Oz's Trumpy-Ass Wet Dream Boner-riffic Boner Pills. For over two minutes, as the idiot continues to ask idiot questions, Haseltine is just brutally honest, even mentioning that in all epidemics, there are "quack cures" that in reality have zero effect. "Nonsense," he calls it.

To be clear, he's talking about what Fox News and the president of the United States basically tell the American people to eat every day, while pretending they are just asking questions:

If that real doctor never appears on Fox News again, we will not be surprised.

[The Daily Beast]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like YOU. If you love Wonkette, SUPPORT WONKETTE FINANCIALLY.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc