Mayor Fenty Loses! (According To USA Today) UPDATE: And Then Loses

Mayor Fenty Loses! (According To USA Today) UPDATE: And Then Loses

Christine O'Donnell is accepting her nomination! She just thanked all the best people in America: the 9/12 nuts, the Teabaggers, the Tea Party Express, the Normal Americans (!), etc. And now she's dragging out one of the most discredited wingnut stories in American History: That Vietnam veterans were "spit on" when they returned home to America after the disastrous, wicked war against Vietnam launched by some of the most evil Defense Industry trolls in the history of Assholedom. Anyway, Adrian Fenty! With 0% of nothing reporting,USA Today declared him Finished. That'll learn ya, Adrian! Let's continue liveblogging this weird night.

10:22 PM -- Here's the lede from the USA Today story, as preserved forever in this Google News screenshot:

DC mayor dumped by Democrats -- USA Today - ‎1 hour ago‎

Washington, DC Mayor Adrian Fenty, one of the first big city chief executives to endorse Barack Obama's presidential campaign in 2008, lost his re-election bid in a stunning reversal of political fortune.

10:24 PM -- Oh lord, the O'Donnell Slobs just started chanting "YES WE CAN YES WE CAN."

10:26 PM -- Now Christine is doing a "You Betcha!" thing, possibly even winking. Will she pretend to hunt moose next, just as suburban microwave-mom Sarah Palin pretended to hunt moose?

10:28 PM -- Oh who is that on MSNBC now? Ezra Klein? After what he said about Tim Russert (RIP)?!

10:45 PM -- CNN is back to "there's fire somewhere!" coverage, so Rick Sanchez is no longer so intellectually undermatched. If he's even still on the teevee, or this Earth.

10:45 PM -- Let's check the Tip Line! Some teabaggers made a "parade float" with an Obama figure whipping white people, "the tax payers."

10:46 PM -- Sarah Palin didn't do so well picking a winner in Maryland. Brian Murphy is at 23% at the moment, meaning HE LOST, by a lot.

10:49 PM -- So how's the Maryland gubernatorial race going? It will be an exact, hilarious repeat of 2006.

10:53 PM -- And what exactly does Jake Tapper mean by this Twitter tweeting?

10:58 PM -- USA Todayapologizes for killing Adrian Fenty with the Internet:

The DC mayoral race remains undecided at this hour. USA TODAY inadvertently posted some copy earlier that indicated otherwise. Mayor Adrian Fenty is being challenged in the primary by City Council Chairman Vincent Gray.

Because of deadline constraints, news organizations frequently prepare copy in advance for publication as results are called.

Some of this material inadvertently was posted to our website this evening. The material was on our website for only a few moments, but some search engines have picked up erroneous information.

This blogger regrets the error.

At least she apologized for what was obviously a dumb mistake. Did Judith Miller ever do anything like that?

11:37 PM -- Charlie Rangel won his primary with 53% of the vote! U2's Adam Clayton lost, despite performing the important 1964 Civil Rights Act anthem "In the Name of Love."

11:45 PM -- If Fenty pulls through, he's gonna get revenge on USA Today by exiling the whole operation to Tysons Corner. Oh wait ....

11:47 PM -- So the O'Donnell-Castle spread is all of 3,000 votes. America is a funny fucking place.

11:48 PM -- And Carl Paladino, famous emailer of Obama-Watermelon material, will be the Next Governor of New York!

11:49 PM -- Early returns (13%) show Vincent Gray with 59% and Fenty at ... 39% Gah. We like Gray, we like Fenty. But Fenty getting kicked out is probably going to have a big impact on the whole school reform in DC, no?

11:52 PM -- With 18% reporting, according to the official results (Chuck Todd's Twitter), Fenty's up a bit but still down: Gray 56%-Fenty 43%.

MIDNIGHT: Huzzah, Chris Matthews is back on the teevee, live. (Good god did we really just type that?)

12:03 AM -- Hahahah, Matthews on O'Donnell: "They thought they killed her ... in her crib." What?

12:08 AM -- Then again, Matthews really wants his hollow Teabagger Insurgency narrative to survive at least until November 2, so MSNBC can keep showing that dumb documentary every weekend. The TEA Party is DETERMINED to take POWER ... what does this MEAN??

12:12 AM -- Watching the O'Donnell acceptance again ... imitating Tina Fey imitating Sarah Palin. What is happening? GAH, and then Chris Matthews says, about Christine, "She's more like Katie Couric." WTF.

12:16 AM -- Oh, here we go:

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

12:16 AM -- We should probably make a post just for that.

12:23 AM -- A terrific capsule review of Christine O'Donnell's fantastic nuttiness, from Reason's

Michael C. Moynihan:

And the intellectual case against O’Donnell is overwhelming. A précis for those who have avoided the Delaware drama: O’Donnell lied about attending a Master’s degree program at Princeton University; claimed that her political enemies are creeping in the bushes outside her house; is opposed to the sinister habit of masturbation; is a supporter of the “ex-gay” movement, despite the inconvenient revelation that her former staffer Wade Richards “returned” to homosexuality and denounced those peddling “cures” for his sexuality; filed a $6 million lawsuit against the conservative group ISI for “gender discrimination"; was denounced by her former campaign manager as a “fraud” who uses campaign donations to pay rent and utility bills; and has implied that her Republican opponent is gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

12:44 AM -- Uhh:

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS, NOW: But we are done, and Adrian Fenty will not be Mayor For Life, and the NRSC won't even piss away any money on Christine O'Donnell's doomed campaign to stop herself from masturbating, and we will have much, much more tomorrow. Thanks to all of you for hanging out and suffering through this Night of Weird Knives.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc