Meghan McCain Is Fact Deaf And You Are Too Now
Do you ever watch The View and wonder to yourself, "Why is Meghan McCain?" Well, of course you do! Not only does she have the ability to ignore the most obvious shit ever, like the fact that socialism exists outside of Venezuela, but she is also completely fucking fact deaf. Toss out a fact, any fact, and you will see the vapid expression on her face turn to stone as she mightily ignores it.
"Say a socialist country where they are not starving," she says, or words to that effect, we are not listening to it again, and then just screams and screams over that nice lady Joy while she lists every nation in Europe.
Which brings us to this episode of "Whoopi Goldberg Explains The World To Meghan McCain," where Whoopi explains to Meghan that Trump lied about his obvious adultery, and that the tapes prove he lied, which was the entire point of the discussion about the Cohen tapes. The lies. The payoffs. And the lies about the payoffs.
First of all, she just doesn't think the recording could possibly be important because, lol, why hasn't it even been TRANSCRIBED???
"CNN and other outlets aren't even transcribing this because it's ambiguous and unclear," McCain said. "I will say, last night I was on my Instagram Live because I needed somebody to talk to when you bitches aren't around for this, and I was, like, I don't know what I just heard."
Of course you don't know what you heard, Silly Rabbit! You are completely fact deaf and you are seriously trying to contaminate the rest of us with your illness. Not cool. At all. Luckily for you, you have several "bitches" to rein you in and help you hear the things you listen to. And even if you did know what you heard, would it even matter? You still won't get it.
"I don't mean disrespect to CNN, but it probably would have been released on, like, ABC News in the morning if it was this breaking of a story, if this was the smoking gun, silver bullet that was going to take Trump out," she said.
Trump is not a werewolf (THAT WE KNOW OF), nobody ever said it would be a "silver bullet," and it's a bad story because ABC waited to publish it for 12 hours -- but then did publish it, maybe after it had done some due diligence? We don't know, we're not sure how this "journalism" works. But that's not stopping Meghan McCain!
Luckily for viewers and also our sanity, Whoopi jumped in like the Fact Police and explained the obvious to McCain before millions of viewers jumped through the airwaves to strangle something.
"We now know on tape, that's his voice, that he lied," she responded to McCain's strange defense.
Meghan McCain was undaunted. Apparently even though the discussion was about Trump's lies, she seemed to think it was about impeachment or indictments. Which, like I said, is perfectly normal for her because she cannot hear a fact to save her life.
"But didn't we already know that?" McCain said. "What should be important to everyone who hates Trump, is if there is a crime and we need to impeach him, that doesn't do it."
OF COURSE WE ALREADY KNEW THAT. We can decide what's important to us, Meghan, we already know that you only hate Trump when he attacks your Dad, so you don't tell us nothing, ok?
Goldberg said the "cumulative" effect is that "a mountain of poo" falls on the president as proof of his lies mount.
Oh, look at that!! Hearing Trump lie proves that he has a pattern of lying!! Isn't that interesting, Meghan?? If we send the point of everything we discover about Trump to your Insta, do you think you'll be able to stop missing every single obvious point from now on? It would be nice.
Watch for yourself:
The moral (or the point) of this frustrating story is that there is absolutely no way to help Meghan McCain not miss the point every single time Donald gets caught doing something a president should not do. Unless it involves saying mean shit about John McCain, because Meghan doesn't think it's important unless it kills werewolves or shows up on ABC News in the morning, is transcribed, and wearing a morning dress.
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