TheWashington Post yesterday informed us some groovy things about Melania and Ivanka Trump, like that they "show the world what feminine power looks like" (their headline!) and, after a few snarks about who wore headscarfs (no one, even though Trump slammed Michelle Obama for the same thing) and before correctly calling Donald Trump "coarse" and "hamfisted," Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Kathleen Parker muses thusly:


All politics aside, Melania and Ivanka Trump stood as beacons of light in a part of the world that remains cloaked in the darkness of religious fundamentalism and oppression. Preternaturally beautiful, they seemed to glide as apparitions above the sea of dark suits and white robes and must have struck fear in the hearts of men whose culture demands that women be publicly invisible.

Apparitions! Striking fear into oh good lord, Kathleen Parker has a Pulitzer. Just LOOK at these terrified men!

Were they relegated to traditional role-playing in Saudi Arabia? Sure, but does that really matter?

Yes, they were relegated to traditional role-playing in Saudi Arabia. Some might have wished they’d had more significant roles, though surely Melania and Ivanka were grateful to be excluded from the all-guy Toby Keith concert. Otherwise, the importance of adhering to protocol can’t be exaggerated in diplomatic relations.

It was PROTOCOL, PEOPLE!

Protocol!

It is true that Western women are encouraged to dress modestly, as Melania and Ivanka did. It helps that both are beautiful and have fathomless wardrobe budgets. Despite their apparent ornamentalism, there’s little doubt both women made a lasting impression on Saudi women, who would have recognized and identified with their feminine power. Wordlessly, they projected strength, intelligence, grace — and a timeless wisdom that all women share.

Saudi women love GLAMOR, FASHION, and NOT DRIVING.

Let us look at some other times women have projected feminine power with their strength, intelligence, and grace, all while standing mute and timelessly wise.

Helen Keller, as played by Patty Duke, was mute and timelessly wise.

Eva Peron definitely had feminine power, even when she was mute and dead.

And this chick, very mute, much strength and grace.

In conclusion, Jaysus Mary and Joseph, Kathleen Parker, we know you are in Palm Beach and have fuck-all to write about, but this week you probably should have called in braindead.

[WaPo]

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