Metal Detectors At US Capitol: The Most Disgusting, Atrocious Thing Ever To Happen In America!

Congress

The US Capitol has added some extra security measures in the past week, which is what you'd expect after a violent mob broke in and killed people, but some Republicans won't accept the inconvenience of not dying. They're complaining about the new metal detectors and showing their asses to the police.

The cast of idiots is not a surprising one: Republican Reps. Louie Gohmert of Texas, Steve Stivers of Ohio, Van Taylor of Texas, Lauren Boebert of Colorado, Debbie Lesko of Arizona, and Larry Bucshon of Indiana were among those who protested most bitterly over House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's new safety initiatives.

Boebert, who is possibly a traitor, threw a fit when the metal detector started beeping as she tried to enter the building Tuesday. She refused to hand over her bag and was "soon in a standoff with the police." Ms. "Law and Order" on the campaign trail was arrested multiple times in Colorado over the past decade. She's even resisted arrest without immediately dying on the spot, which is a magic power white people have.


Other Republicans just bypassed the metal detectors all together and pushed past the police, demonstrating how much Blue Lives Matter to them. Gohmert told the cops, “You can't stop me!" but let me assure him as a professional Black person, the police can definitely stop you.

Lesko later whined on Twitter about her oppression like a fucking baby.

For members of Congress to enter the floor of the U.S. House, we now have to go through intense security measures, on top of the security we already go through. These new provisions include searches and being wanded like criminals. We now live in Pelosi's communist America!

Lesko apparently believes metal detectors only exist in nationalized economies. Stivers told a cop he believed the metal detectors were unconstitutional. Jim Jordan agreed because he's an idiot. This would come as a surprise to any high school kid who has to go through metal detectors every day so Americans can enjoy the freedom of gun proliferation.

Greg Steube from Florida declared Pelosi's metal monsters an “atrocity."

Take note, America. This is what you have to look forward to in the Joe Biden administration.

Yes, in the dystopian Biden-Harris administration, not even the US Capitol is spared the same security measures as a DC nightclub.

Boebert, who's vowed to carry her Glock around the Capitol like a crazy person, also got her diva on over the metal detectors.

I am legally permitted to carry my firearm in Washington, D.C. and within the Capitol complex. Metal detectors outside of the House would not have stopped the violence we saw last week — it's just another political stunt by Speaker Pelosi.

This supposed lawmaker struggles to understand the law. Acting House Sergeant-at-Arms Timothy Blodgett reminded representatives in a letter Tuesday that "pursuant to the firearms regulations that Members received on Opening Day, firearms are restricted to a Member's Office.”

Madison Cawthorn from North Carolina boasted that he was armed inside the Capitol on January 6. It’s unclear if he had a gun on the House floor, which is so not legal. Blodgett isn’t playing and stated in his letter that “failure to complete screening or the carrying of prohibited items could result in denial of access to the Chamber."

Rodney Davis from Illinois, as he went through security, told officers, “This is bullshit!" and claimed they were securing the wrong perimeter. He reportedly yelled at Majority Leader Steny Hoyer: "The threat is not on the interior side of the building. You are taking valuable resources completely away from where it needs to be. And you guys did it without any consultation with the minority!"

I wouldn't normally question Davis's threat assessment skills. After all, he has a degree in political science. But there is reason to believe the next call for insurrection could come from inside the House. It was mostly dismissed as just crazy candidate talk when Marjorie Taylor Greene posed with a rifle in campaign ads and claimed she'd “go on the offense" against Reps. lhan Omar, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Rashida Tlaib. She described herself as the Squad's “worst nightmare," and these women are less likely to lose sleep over Greene opposing Medicare for All than they are that Greene might shoot them.

The sad truth is that Pelosi, who's second in line to the presidency, and most other Democrats have sufficient reason to fear for their safety around gun-toting QAnon wack jobs. Voters in conservative districts might send these people to Washington, but an objective review of their Twitter feed wouldn't inspire confidence about putting them in the same room with Democratic politicians without a thorough screening. They aren't just from opposite sides of the political aisle. They sound like members of a rival faction.

Reports are starting to emerge that the insurrectionists might've had inside help, whether in just helping plan the "rally" or possibly something darker. It makes sense that Pelosi would act as quickly as she has to keep everyone safe but specifically her own caucus.

[Washington Post]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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