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Do police understand non-lethal technology, or are they flummoxed by machines that don't go PEW PEW? Every single day another officer of the law gets outed on social media for beating the crap out of some poor brown kid. And yet cops go right on posting incriminating shit all over Facebook. They'll come to your kid's school and lecture little Tyler and Tiffany about online safety. But once they peel out of the parking lot, it's SUN'S OUT GUNS OUT.


Hey there, Stevo! Oh, sorry to be familiar, Detective Steven Rosser. But we feel like we know you, what with your now-deleted Facebook posts appearing in our Twitter feed. Didn't you just tell little Chloe and Jacob that stuff you post online is FOREVER?



It's nice to know that you're so politically engaged. But it does make us wonder if it was just a coincidence that you and three fellow officers happened to be working undercover in the Sirens strip club on Wednesday night when Trump-accuser Stormy Daniels was doing her act and got arrested. Because there's what you said yesterday.


And there's what you said in February about poor President Trump, beset by a "hostile Congress and the media attacking him 24/7." (Was that before or after you told little Jayden, Braeden and Caden not to send naked selfies to their friends?)


And there's what Daniels's lawyer Avenatti said ...

Right before the Columbus Police Department magically dropped the case.

UH HUH.

Look, the point of all these pretty pictures is that the power is in your hands, Wonkers. Literally. Are you reading this on your phone? Then you have the power to make the world a better place. Especially if you're a person protected by your skin, or your bank account, or your zip code.

Because we can't all have Michael Avenatti shining a spotlight on our police problems.

But we can all use social media to look out for each other. So if you see something, film something. Take a screenshot and mail it to yourself. Maybe next week you'll find that someone in your community needs help.

Social media's a sewer, but none of us seems to be able to quit swimming in it. Might as well use it to fight racists and Trump supporters. But we repeat ourselves!

Jack and Mark are gonna steal all your data anyway, right?



Happy clicking! And don't be an asshole.

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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If the world was a reasonable place, it would be entirely illegal to be as self -serving and full of shit as Mitch McConnell. In a desperate and pitiful play to shame Democrats into folding over like a bunch of beach chairs and coalescing around the Trump Train, that shifty-eyed turtle-faced goobledonker (I made that up and it fits, use it) decided to write himself an op-ed. Wait until you get a load of the title of his masterful self-own, you ready? Ok, here it is: "Will Dems work with us, or simply put partisan politics ahead of the country?"

Are you dead yet? Many of us Democrats saw that headline and keeled over from the hell-ified audacity of Mr. Dorkface Obstruction Man trying to project his shit onto us. We can't be the only ones who remember a certain senator (surprise, it was Mitch McConnell!) saying his main goal was to make Obama a one-term president while he did everything he could to obstruct the Democrats. Oh yeah, and also MERRICK FUCKING GARLAND.

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You know how whenever one of these horrible mass shootings happens, and we find out about the shooter, you think to yourself, "Where the hell was the family here? No one who knew this person thought to call the police or put them in an institution or take their guns away?" Well, finally, one family did call the police on their gun-hoarding, neo-Nazi, mass-murderer-idolizing relative -- and they may have prevented another mass shooting by doing so.

On Tuesday afternoon, Washington D.C. police arrested 30-year-old neo-Nazi Jeffrey R. Clark Jr. on federal charges of illegally possessing a firearm while using or addicted to an illegal substance (spoiler: the illegal substance was meth), and on local charges of possessing a high-speed magazine. The police were called in by members of Clark's family who were starting to get freaked out by his many anti-Semitic outbursts about how the 11 people who died in the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting "deserved it," and his description of the massacre as a "dry run for things to come," combined with the fact that he owned a whole lotta weapons.

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