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Ever since we published our hilarious Pulitzer-worthy blog post this morning on Michael Cohen's lawyers deciding to kick him to the curb, the weirdest news has been trickling out about Cohen. Is he flipping? Is he not flipping? Is he going to jail very soon? Did his lawyers quit because he didn't pay them? Did Cohen fire them to try to send some sort of signal to Donald Trump? YADDA YADDA YADDA, LOCK HIM UP!


Katy Tur from MSNBC has a scoop on the "Michael Cohen Arrest Watch" front, and here it is:



Tur explains that a source tells her prosecutors at the Southern District of New York (SDNY) have contacted Cohen's legal team (you know, the ones quitting!) to say they are "preparing paperwork" to have him arrested. This jibes with reporting from Gabriel Sherman that Cohen expects to be arrested any old day now, and Sherman added in the clip above that he thinks he might even be arrested tomorrow. Wouldn't that be a nice Christmas morning in June if that happened? It will really go well with watching Paul Manafort go to jail on Friday! (Fingers crossed.)

Tur also says "a number of people" think Cohen fired his lawyers as a "smoke sign" to Donald Trump to warn him that Cohen is thinkin' about flipping. Perhaps Trump might want to make like a pard'ner and pardon him? But maybe there is more to it than that, because Fox Business correspondent Charlie Gasparino reported this afternoon that Cohen's lawyer Stephen Ryan may indeed be out the door, but the primary reason may be because deadbeat Michael Cohen can't pay his legal bills:

"There's a lot of speculation about whether Mr. Cohen can pay Mr. Ryan's fees," the Fox Business correspondent continued. "There's also speculation that maybe Mr. Cohen needs a different type of lawyer if — lots of talk right now about Mr. Cohen cooperating with the feds in exchange for leniency if he faces a possible indictment over God knows what."

Gasparino added on the Twitter machine that Ryan has complained about Cohen not paying his legal bills in the past. So! Maybe that is what happening, and Cohen is going to flip on Trump because he is a loser without any dollars and maybe he's trying to send up flares to the White House that Trump better hire him some lawyers, otherwise he's gonna flip and ...

Oh Christ, Maggie Haberman says everybody is wrong and stupid and Cohen is definitely not signaling Trump:




Haberman further reports that prosecutors have not reached out to Cohen about flipping on Trump, but that he really is having trouble paying his lawyer bills, but she adds on Twitter that Cohen is close to flipping, so there's your daily example of Maggie Haberman's reporting conflicting with Maggie Haberman's reporting. Anyway, CNN says Haberman is full of shit, and ... where does that leave us? Fuck if we know!

The Washington Post adds more to the mix, with a thing about how actually Cohen's lawyer bills have been paid by the Trump campaign, or more specifically that it's the Trump campaign stiffing the lawyers, and that if Cohen is about to flip, being paid (or Not Paid) by the Trump campaign would necessarily conflict those lawyers out, were Cohen to make a deal.

All of this is very confusing, and the only solution Wonkette sees that would make all of America happy would be for the FBI to arrest Michael Cohen tomorrow morning, preferably while we are having our morning coffee.

After that, TIME TO FLIP ON MIS-TURR TWUMP, Michael Cohen, you dumb bag of hammers.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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If it's a day, the New York Times is fucking shit up, but today, it fucked up BIGLY.

Fresh-faced access journalists Adam Goldman and Michael Schmidt have just published what we can only describe as a drive-by shooting against Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, which reads as some bullshit planted by the White House to give Donald Trump the pretext for his Saturday Night Massacre, if he wants it. (He does.)

Maybe the White House is tired of talking about the flailing nomination of Judge Maybe Rapey and how Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen are cooperating with special counsel Robert Mueller, and the New York Times was more than happy to help!

Or maybe it was planted by former deputy director of the FBI Andrew McCabe, who was fired by Attorney General Jeff Sessions just hours before his pension was set to kick in, and may have a serious axe to grind with DoJ officials and leaked a copy of his own memos. (His lawyer says that's not true, but he would say that, wouldn't he?)

Or maybe it's both, somehow! Or one of many other things!

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It's not every day Golf Digest gets noticed as a source of hard-hitting investigative journalism, at least outside of reviews of titanium carbon fiber nanotech infinite improbability drivers or some such. But Wednesday, some journamalisming that started with a Golf Digest story about a guy who drew fantastic imaginary golf courses concluded with that guy, Valentino Dixon, walking out of Attica prison, 27 years after he'd been sentenced for 39 years to life. Not bad, Golf Digest. We give you a GOLF CLAP. And a Pulitzer if we had one, which, sadly, we don't.

As Golf Digest says, the twists and turns of the case are a bit complex (they're unraveled in more detail in this New York Times story), but it basically comes down to a local prosecutor who was determined to railroad Dixon for the 1991 murder of a 17-year-old, Torriano Jackson, in Buffalo, New York. The conviction involved

shoddy police work, zero physical evidence linking Dixon, conflicting testimony of unreliable witnesses, the videotaped confession to the crime by another man, a public defender who didn't call a witness at trial, and perjury charges against those who said Dixon didn't do it.

Dixon had a prior conviction for selling cocaine, and he made a convenient target for Erie County prosecutor Chris Belling, who was weirdly determined to ignore even statements from the actual killer, LaMarr Scott, who pleaded guilty to the killing shortly before Dixon's release this week.

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