Vladimir Putin Can Have Michael McFaul Over America's Dead Fucking Body

Wednesday, during Sarah Huckabee Sanders's first public explosion of lies in 16 days, she gave a very unclear answer to a question from the New York Times's Maggie Haberman, which was "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" Specifically the question was about Russian reports that Putin's rogue shithole state would like to question/detain 11 Americans for their supposed "crimes" against Russia, in exchange for Russia's cooperation in letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian military intelligence officials he indicted last week for hacking our 2016 election. Putin's list of pals he would like to have for a chat starts with businessman Bill Browder, who used to be Russia's biggest foreign investor, who is actually a British citizen (LOL Russia is stupid), and who is Vladimir Putin's arch-enemy because Browder and his Russian accountant Sergei Magnitsky (whom Putin later had killed in jail) exposed massive Russian government corruption that led to the creation of "Magnitsky Acts" all over the world that sanction the ever-loving fuck out of Putin and his buddies.

Getting rid of the Magnitsky Act is Putin's number one foreign policy priority, so it's probably safe to say it's high on Donald Trump's list too. Indeed, during Trump's shameful press conference with Putin, Trump said Putin had made an "incredible offer" during their private meeting, and it was MOAR PEE HOOKERS! for the quid pro quo we described above. How sweet of Trump's KGB boss to offer to make such an Art Of The Deal with him!

If we had a president who loved America and had an IQ above 75, something like this would never be discussed in a million fucking years, obviously. But with Trump, we have to wonder. For all we know, in his mind, fair is fair, and if the DEEP STATE gets to have a NO COLLUSION WITCH HUNT, then Putin should get an actual witch hunt of his own.

Also on Putin's list? Michael McFaul, Barack Obama's ambassador to Russia. (You know him from the TV! He's on MSNBC frequently! He's kinda cute! AW SHUCKS!) Vladimir Putin hates McFaul, because if you read McFaul's book and also David Corn and Michael Isikoff's excellent book Russian Roulette, you learn that McFaul was not afraid to get in Russia's face and tell the truth about what was happening under Putin's rule, especially regarding human rights, to an Obama administration that really really really wanted to reset relations with Russia. Putin says McFaul is part of the "crimes" Bill Browder "committed," because Putin is full of shit.

Let's look at that answer from Sarah Huckabee Sanders, which was helpfully tweeted by MSNBC's Katy Tur:

NO CHEESE PLATE FOR YOU, ASSHOLE. (AGAIN!) The one and only answer to that question was "The fuck you say! Vladimir Putin can suck DEEZ NUTS."

Somehow, Heather Nauert, the lunatic former Fox News idiot who now is the spokesperson for the State Department, was the voice of reason on the same question when asked about it Wednesday:

"I can't answer for the White House with regard to that, but I can tell you that the overall assertions that have come out of the Russian government are absolutely absurd."

It's disturbing Nauert can't quite speak for the administration, as if Trump's White House is some rogue operation down the street and Trump's State Department is like "DUNNO WTF THEY'RE DOING OVER THERE, BUT OVER HERE WE'RE STILL VAGUELY SANE, KINDA SORTA." But otherwise Nauert sounds like what the American government should sound like.

Likewise, FBI Director Chris Wray was asked about it at the Aspen Security Forum on Wednesday, and he said Putin's little LOL request was "not high on our list."

Regardless, WHAT THE FUCK? Is the White House seriously considering handing Michael McFaul to the Russians, because after all he is a Deep State Obama Hillary Bot, which means he is an enemy of the Russo-American state that exists in Donald Trump's nocturnal fantasies? Did Trump make an agreement like that when he was with his handler in Helsinki? Nobody knows! (Well, Trump and Putin know. And Russian intelligence knows, from listening to the "wire tapp" of the conversation.) This is why members of Congress are talking about subpoenaing the American translator who was in the room, just to see if she happened to witness any sort of treason.

What we do know is that patriotic Americans everywhere are FUCKING PISSED and saying "over my dead fucking body." Spencer Ackerman from the Daily Beast talked to a bunch of American diplomat types, and the quotes he got about this administration, and this proposal, are full of rage and honesty the likes of which we're not used to hearing from diplomats. Long block quote, because you're going to want to read all of this:

One serving diplomat, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said he was "at a fucking loss" over comments that can be expected to chill American diplomacy in hostile or authoritarian countries – a comment echoed by former State Department officials as well.

"It's beyond disgraceful. It's fundamentally ignorant with regard to how we conduct diplomacy or what that means. It really puts in jeopardy the professional independence of diplomats anywhere in the world, if the consequence of their actions is going to be potentially being turned over to a foreign government," the U.S. diplomat told The Daily Beast. [...]

Ned Price, a former CIA analyst and spokesman for the Obama National Security Council, said Sanders' comments made Trump look "even weaker" than during Trump's Monday press conference with Putin. [...]

"By failing to reject the idea out of hand – immediately and forcefully – Trump signaled that absolutely nothing is off limits when it comes to Putin. And just as shocking, he's willing to play Putin's brand of ball, in which the world is purely transactional and lives are expendable."

The current U.S. diplomat said the openness to turning over McFaul capped off a shocking week for U.S. geopolitics.

"The president has first and foremost his interests at the top of his mind, as opposed to the government's. That's very clear over the past week and a half, between shitting on our NATO allies and kissing Putin's ass," the diplomat said. "He cares more about himself than the nation and any of us who serve it."

The diplomat continued: "Either he's compromised by Putin or he's a pussy, in which case he should grab himself."


Here's some outrage from former Obama administration officials who have READ A BOOK in their lives and know how monumentally fucked up this is:

Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA), who is really making a name for himself these days, is ready to CUT A BITCH:

Even Marco Rubio is mad enough to tweet a thing about it, like it's "Take Your Spine To Work Day" at the Senate or something:

And of course, there are the named "defendants" themselves. They are pretty fucking pissed too!

Here is Michael McFaul talking about it on "Morning Joe," and also a tweet where McFaul calls bullshit on Putin's claims about Browder:

So is any of this going to happen? For now, we are going to cautiously say that no, this is just Donald Trump being a motherfucking un-American moron like he always is, and that his American handlers will stop this shit in its tracks.

Of course, as we all know, Vladimir Putin doesn't mind targeting people (for murder) on foreign soil, so God knows what Russia will try to do while Trump is distracted watching "Fox & Friends" during Executive Time. (Up your security, McFaul! And get some for the rest of the guys on the list who aren't famous like you and Browder! AND NO OPENING FUNNY ENVELOPES!)

But how stunning is that we are even talking about this? Is this still America?

Better find out in November, by VOTING OUR FUCKING ASSES OFF.

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[Daily Beast]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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