Donate

Wednesday, during Sarah Huckabee Sanders's first public explosion of lies in 16 days, she gave a very unclear answer to a question from the New York Times's Maggie Haberman, which was "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" Specifically the question was about Russian reports that Putin's rogue shithole state would like to question/detain 11 Americans for their supposed "crimes" against Russia, in exchange for Russia's cooperation in letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian military intelligence officials he indicted last week for hacking our 2016 election. Putin's list of pals he would like to have for a chat starts with businessman Bill Browder, who used to be Russia's biggest foreign investor, who is actually a British citizen (LOL Russia is stupid), and who is Vladimir Putin's arch-enemy because Browder and his Russian accountant Sergei Magnitsky (whom Putin later had killed in jail) exposed massive Russian government corruption that led to the creation of "Magnitsky Acts" all over the world that sanction the ever-loving fuck out of Putin and his buddies.

Getting rid of the Magnitsky Act is Putin's number one foreign policy priority, so it's probably safe to say it's high on Donald Trump's list too. Indeed, during Trump's shameful press conference with Putin, Trump said Putin had made an "incredible offer" during their private meeting, and it was MOAR PEE HOOKERS! for the quid pro quo we described above. How sweet of Trump's KGB boss to offer to make such an Art Of The Deal with him!


If we had a president who loved America and had an IQ above 75, something like this would never be discussed in a million fucking years, obviously. But with Trump, we have to wonder. For all we know, in his mind, fair is fair, and if the DEEP STATE gets to have a NO COLLUSION WITCH HUNT, then Putin should get an actual witch hunt of his own.

Also on Putin's list? Michael McFaul, Barack Obama's ambassador to Russia. (You know him from the TV! He's on MSNBC frequently! He's kinda cute! AW SHUCKS!) Vladimir Putin hates McFaul, because if you read McFaul's book and also David Corn and Michael Isikoff's excellent book Russian Roulette, you learn that McFaul was not afraid to get in Russia's face and tell the truth about what was happening under Putin's rule, especially regarding human rights, to an Obama administration that really really really wanted to reset relations with Russia. Putin says McFaul is part of the "crimes" Bill Browder "committed," because Putin is full of shit.

Let's look at that answer from Sarah Huckabee Sanders, which was helpfully tweeted by MSNBC's Katy Tur:

NO CHEESE PLATE FOR YOU, ASSHOLE. (AGAIN!) The one and only answer to that question was "The fuck you say! Vladimir Putin can suck DEEZ NUTS."

Somehow, Heather Nauert, the lunatic former Fox News idiot who now is the spokesperson for the State Department, was the voice of reason on the same question when asked about it Wednesday:

"I can't answer for the White House with regard to that, but I can tell you that the overall assertions that have come out of the Russian government are absolutely absurd."

It's disturbing Nauert can't quite speak for the administration, as if Trump's White House is some rogue operation down the street and Trump's State Department is like "DUNNO WTF THEY'RE DOING OVER THERE, BUT OVER HERE WE'RE STILL VAGUELY SANE, KINDA SORTA." But otherwise Nauert sounds like what the American government should sound like.

Likewise, FBI Director Chris Wray was asked about it at the Aspen Security Forum on Wednesday, and he said Putin's little LOL request was "not high on our list."

Regardless, WHAT THE FUCK? Is the White House seriously considering handing Michael McFaul to the Russians, because after all he is a Deep State Obama Hillary Bot, which means he is an enemy of the Russo-American state that exists in Donald Trump's nocturnal fantasies? Did Trump make an agreement like that when he was with his handler in Helsinki? Nobody knows! (Well, Trump and Putin know. And Russian intelligence knows, from listening to the "wire tapp" of the conversation.) This is why members of Congress are talking about subpoenaing the American translator who was in the room, just to see if she happened to witness any sort of treason.

What we do know is that patriotic Americans everywhere are FUCKING PISSED and saying "over my dead fucking body." Spencer Ackerman from the Daily Beast talked to a bunch of American diplomat types, and the quotes he got about this administration, and this proposal, are full of rage and honesty the likes of which we're not used to hearing from diplomats. Long block quote, because you're going to want to read all of this:

One serving diplomat, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said he was "at a fucking loss" over comments that can be expected to chill American diplomacy in hostile or authoritarian countries – a comment echoed by former State Department officials as well.

"It's beyond disgraceful. It's fundamentally ignorant with regard to how we conduct diplomacy or what that means. It really puts in jeopardy the professional independence of diplomats anywhere in the world, if the consequence of their actions is going to be potentially being turned over to a foreign government," the U.S. diplomat told The Daily Beast. [...]

Ned Price, a former CIA analyst and spokesman for the Obama National Security Council, said Sanders' comments made Trump look "even weaker" than during Trump's Monday press conference with Putin. [...]

"By failing to reject the idea out of hand – immediately and forcefully – Trump signaled that absolutely nothing is off limits when it comes to Putin. And just as shocking, he's willing to play Putin's brand of ball, in which the world is purely transactional and lives are expendable."

The current U.S. diplomat said the openness to turning over McFaul capped off a shocking week for U.S. geopolitics.

"The president has first and foremost his interests at the top of his mind, as opposed to the government's. That's very clear over the past week and a half, between shitting on our NATO allies and kissing Putin's ass," the diplomat said. "He cares more about himself than the nation and any of us who serve it."

The diplomat continued: "Either he's compromised by Putin or he's a pussy, in which case he should grab himself."

In other words, DON'T START NO SHIT, WON'T BE NO SHIT.

Here's some outrage from former Obama administration officials who have READ A BOOK in their lives and know how monumentally fucked up this is:



Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA), who is really making a name for himself these days, is ready to CUT A BITCH:

Even Marco Rubio is mad enough to tweet a thing about it, like it's "Take Your Spine To Work Day" at the Senate or something:

And of course, there are the named "defendants" themselves. They are pretty fucking pissed too!

Here is Michael McFaul talking about it on "Morning Joe," and also a tweet where McFaul calls bullshit on Putin's claims about Browder:


So is any of this going to happen? For now, we are going to cautiously say that no, this is just Donald Trump being a motherfucking un-American moron like he always is, and that his American handlers will stop this shit in its tracks.

Of course, as we all know, Vladimir Putin doesn't mind targeting people (for murder) on foreign soil, so God knows what Russia will try to do while Trump is distracted watching "Fox & Friends" during Executive Time. (Up your security, McFaul! And get some for the rest of the guys on the list who aren't famous like you and Browder! AND NO OPENING FUNNY ENVELOPES!)

But how stunning is that we are even talking about this? Is this still America?

Better find out in November, by VOTING OUR FUCKING ASSES OFF.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please help, by making a donation of MONEY.

[Daily Beast]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC

OOH BOY HOWDY, The Federalist is on fire this week! Just this morning we told you about the hilarious Federalist column where one neo-Nazi's mom and dad are Democrats, ipso facto QED NEO-NAZIS ARE THE REAL LIBERALS, FUCKERS! Is America's dumbest woman whose name doesn't rhyme with Cara Snailin' over there being a total fuckin' Mollie Hemingway right now? Sadly, she blocked us on Twitter, so how could we possibly know? The answer is WE DON'T CARE.

But now we have a gem of the Federalist genre, an article written by a whiny-ass gay quisling conservative, who would like to chew on his blankie and whine about how much harder it is out there for a conservative than it is for a gay person. This is a subject we happen to have some knowledge about, because we are super gay! And we know a lot about conservatives, both firsthand -- being subjected to them every single one of our almost four decades of life -- and also from covering extremist right-wing Christians for a very long time. Particularly the kind that tell young, impressionable, vulnerable gay kids that they need to pray away the gay if they want Jesus to exercise some self control and refrain from sending them to a fiery hell for all eternity.

We clicked on the article with high hopes. See if you can spot why:

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
pic via Glamour Shots, we mean this dude's old website

The House Education and Workforce Committee was all set to have a hearing today all about the horrors that a higher minimum wage would wreak on the economy. Horrors like rich people being slightly less rich. Horrors like business owners claiming they will have to fire people and charge $15 for a McChicken if forced to pay workers a living wage, which they won't actually do because no one will buy a $15 McChicken and they would go out of business if they tried that, and they already don't hire more people than the bare minimum they can get away with. Horrors like poor people not being "motivated" to work harder and get better jobs that do not pay them an amount no human being could possibly live on.

Alas, as Politico reports, it was not to be, as committee members discovered their big witness for the hearing, San Diego State University economist Joseph Sabia (pictured above in a Glamour Shot from his archived website), was kind of a wacko.

Sabia, as it turns out, once had a blog called "No Shades Of Gray," in which he wrote many columns of an extremely homophobic and sexist persuasion. In one of these columns, in 2002, Sabia was very mad about one man's lawsuit against several fast food giants for contributing to his health and obesity problems by failing to disclose the nutritional information of the food they sold. In retrospect, I think most people are now on board with these chains being required to post calorie counts and other nutritional information, but in 2002, Sabia was convinced that requiring them to do this would be an assault on freedom for all Americans everywhere. His response to this was to try and attempt a Jonathan Swift posture and suggest taxing gay sex, which he claimed leads to "disastrous health consequences."

Because sure, that's the same thing, basically.


In gay sex, we have an activity that is clearly leading to disastrous health consequences. What rational person would engage in this sort of activity? There is only one solution - let's tax it.

"Come on, Sabia," you say, "how are you going to enforce these taxes? Are you going to send government officials to peep into everyone's bedroom?"

Eventually. But first we have to mount the assault on Big Gay (no, I am not talking about Rosie O'Donnell). We can tax gay nightclubs, websites, personal ads, sexual paraphernalia, and so forth. Talk about a sin tax!!! We can cripple gay-related industries and get them right where we want them. All gay clubs will have to feature huge, flashing warning signs like "CAUTION: Entering this nightclub may increase your chance of contracting STDs and dying."

Big Gay clearly lures people into trying their "product" without discussing the risks to mind, body, and soul. The average Joe on the street does not understand all of the possible bad outcomes. I can almost hear him now:

"They said '100 percent hotties.' I thought that meant it was fun. I thought gay sex was OK…Now I have all these diseases. Big Gay has wrecked my life."

In the immoral words of Warren G, "Regulators!! Mount up!"

EXTREME SHUDDER.

In another 2002 article, classily titled "College Girls: Unpaid Whores," Sabia laments that feminists have led college girls to stop trying to be like the Holy Virgin Mary and instead to aspire to be more like that hussy Ally McBeal.

No, really.

As women have strayed from the church, they have replaced what is holy with what is temporally pleasing. For Catholics, the model woman is Mary, the virgin Mother of God. She is beloved by the faithful for her unflappable devotion to and trust in God, her nurturing of the Son of Man, and her deep love for all humanity.

Today's college girl looks to Ally McBeal, the trollops of Sex in the City, and the floozies on Friends to set their moral compasses.

The sad truth is that college girls are so desperate to find love that they are willing to degrade themselves to get it. But true love can only be understood in the context of the Word of God. Any other notion of "love" is secular and, by definition, limited and finite.

Not only that, but instead of going to college to find a husband, they have boyfriends. Boyfriends they have S-E-X with. And sometimes, not even that. Sometimes they have sex with people just because they want to have sex with people, and not even in exchange for Valentine's Day cards or money!


Additionally, other sex-based relationships have become commonplace. In recent years, a new and disturbing arrangement known as "friends with benefits" has emerged. In this arrangement, men are not even forced to perform the normal duties of boyfriends, i.e. flowers, Valentine's Day cards, rides to the abortion clinic, etc. Instead, girls consider these guys "just friends" whom they happen to screw every now and again. No strings, no attachments, no dinners. Just sex when they feel like it.

This type of arrangement is the next logical step in the direction that young women have drifted in the last few decades. These women have become unpaid whores. At least prostitutes made a buck off of their trade. These women just give it away.

How cute! He was like the ur-incel, basically.

Anyway, following the discovery of the posts, the House Education and Workforce Committee's GOP communications director Kelley McNabb told Politico that "members were uncomfortable moving forward on the hearing." A more optimistic person might think this was a step forward, that maybe those committee members actually thought it was bad to suggest that being gay means being a disease-ridden monster or that college girls are whores, but it's probably more to avoid embarrassment than anything else. Guess they'll have to start from scratch and find a crappy economist who will tell them what they want to hear about the minimum wage but who doesn't have an embarrassing Geocities blog in their past. Good luck with that!

[Politico]

Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc