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Have you seen that show on the E! television network featuring a bunch of whiny girls whose names all start with the letter "K" and their [step]father, played by a melted-down Ken doll? It is the "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" show, and somehow, it is one of the most highly rated reality television programs that exists, so let's all poison ourselves, after we discuss FLOTUS. We live in an age of "reality" television, because reality is so horrifying these days, it tends to make for a fairly entertaining hour of television without much extra work required. Our obesity crisis is of course one element of our terrible reality, which is why there is a program on NBC called 'The Biggest Loser,' which is some sort of program about fat people (your FLOTUS correspondent does not watch this program, because it disgusts her). These days, where there's a camera and fat people, there's our First Lady Michelle Obama, making them wish they had never heard of a Double Down Sandwich. Our Michelle appeared on 'The Biggest Loser' last night, so it's pretty much next stop:workouts with Bruce Jenner and hijinks about Kendall's Super Sweet 16, etc. etc.


In last night's episode, Michelle Obama invited everyone from 'The Biggest Loser' to the White House so they could get their sweat all over the place and listen to some inspiring words from our First Lady of Fitness, like "As long as you mostly eat fruits and vegetables, it's fine to have just one little snack on the weekend." Maybe not the most practical advice for people who have severe binge eating problems, but we will try, FLOTUS!

The point of Michelle Obama's appearance on this show appears to be to promote her Let's Move! initiative and in the long-term, stop people from becoming morbidly obese. But prior to the episode airing, there was speculation that Michelle Obama was really going on the teevee so she could keep up with those awful Kardashians! Let's explore.

The first lady is not only taking part in the show but also opening up the White House as a backdrop for the show’s challenges and group workouts. Many view this foray into reality television as the perfect extension of the first lady’s Let’s Move exercise campaign.

But it’s not all positive feedback. There are those that look at it as another PR stunt to save her husband’s presidency. Others think of it as a lowbrow move for a first lady since reality TV shows are the realms of housewives craving socialite status and has-been actors searching for a second chance at the spotlight. A world populated by the likes of the Kardashians, Snooki and Andy “Mazel” Cohen. Reality TV is contrarian to the image of someone who should be aspirational and regarded on a pedestal.

What ever could our First Lady to do compensate for this misguided adventure toward the Jersey Shore?

For starters, she should give all the contestants who made it to the White House a pair of the Lanvin sneakers she’s been seen wearing. She should also go all out and up the stakes on the show. Apart from the cash prize that awaits the contestant who loses the most weight, the first lady should make the winner the face of her Let’s Move initiative thereby becoming Beyonce’s co-star in the next workout videos.

And as added motivation, she should give away one of her museum-worthy Jason Wu or Thakoon dresses should the winner be a woman. And if the winner is a man, perhaps a round of golf or game of basketball with President Obama should come with The Biggest Loser title.

Nothing like reaffirming gender stereotypes to really get the blood flowing during a workout! No matter what the critics say, we will continue to follow our FLOTUS' journey through our television programs, until she becomes a guest on 'Law & Order: SVU.' A line must be drawn. [Forbes]

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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