Michelle Obama Will Say Cusses Until You Eat Your Effin' Vegetables
Or maybe it's a new way to say "Fuckin' A," but the "V" stands for "vagina." Effin' V, man! Or maybe "effin" is a verb, and this is an action statement, like "Oh, golly, it is the weekend, and what a weekend it will be, because I'm going to spend it effin' some V's, like I always do!" Just kidding, this post is not about Josh Duggar's Ashley Madison account. (This one is, and this one too.)
Anyway, Michelle Obama says no, stop saying cusses, Jimmy Kimmel, this is about nutrition.
And fun science fact! Even though wingnuts view MichelleObama'sefforts to prevent people from having heart attacks at age 9 as the acts of the malicious black queen wife of a cruel dictator, it turns out Americans actually support the idea of people eating real, healthy food. A new poll shows that over 80 percent of Americans think it would be just great for kids to have F(ruits) and V(egetables) with their school lunches, instead of just eating fried pig lard sandwiches with powdered sugar on top. Weird!
So eat your P-in-V or whatever it is this weekend. Michelle Obama demands it!
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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