Michelle Obama's Trip to Target Was Basically a Lie

Our FLOTUS is very fortunate, because there is no Wall Street Insanity, in her world. Michelle Obama lives a much calmer existence, in a place where simple questions ("Where do fat people come from?") have simple answers ("Arby's"). So she is sometimes able to spend her time doing enjoyable things, like celebrating herwedding anniversary with Barack Obama, or going to the local Mom-and-Pop Target store to buy toothpaste and iPod accessories for Malia. But does she do these things for real, or for lies? LIES, IT'S ALL LIES is the answer, according to America's shouting radio and teevee heroes. Why else would Michelle Obama walk around a Target store, besides the obvious reason of deception?

Our FLOTUS decided to leave the White House gates last week to go to Target. No one really knows what possessed her to do this, since at this point we would have to imagine she is tired of being accused of murdering everyone's children and stealing all the tax money so she can build shrines to Allah across the globe. But at least we have expert Michelle Obama reporters stalkers like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck to explain to us why she would do such a thing.

Photos taken by an Associated Press photographer of first lady Michelle Obama strolling away from the checkout counter at a Target store in Alexandria circled the globe Friday. The images were unusual and striking, depicting the elegant first lady, in an unglamorous disguise, shopping at a discount store familiar to millions of Americans.

But almost as soon as the pictures hit televisions, newspapers and Web sites, the Obamas’ critics were raising suspicions, suggesting the trip was a calculated attempt to deflect criticism of the first lady’s more expensive tastes in vacations and wardrobe.

Rush Limbaugh called it “What a phony-baloney plastic banana good-time rock-and-roller optic photo op.”

That "sentence" probably means something, to the listeners of Rush Limbaugh who suffer from a combination of out-of-control cholesterol, illiteracy and Tourette syndrome of the soul. But we do not understand these words, so English, please!

Neither the White House nor the Associated Press will say how AP photographer Charles Dharapak came to be the only news photographer present at the Alexandria Target to capture Obama’s shopping excursion.

“All I can say is that it was the result of good source work on his part,” AP spokesman Paul Colford said, declining to elaborate on the sources or the work involved.

A spokeswoman for Michelle Obama, Kristina Schake, also declined to discuss how the photographs came about. In a statement, she said, “It is not uncommon for the First Lady to slip out to run an errand, eat at a local restaurant or otherwise enjoy the city outside the White House gates.”

Yes, conspiracies everywhere, Michelle Obama now rules the AP. FLOTUS fans know better -she just really loves Target, is all! [WaPo]


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