Donate

After the 2016 election, Bill Schuette, the Republican scumbag running for governor of Michigan, filed to stop the recounts happening there, where Hillary Clinton "lost" by mere thousands of votes, because (get this) the recounts were threatening to SILENCE DEMOCRACY IN ITS VERY CRIB. Yes, that was how he described counting very carefully and being sure you got an accurate tally.

Wasn't that a dumb thing for him to say? Here are some more dumb things Schuette said when he was a young state congressman, in outtakes from a 1989 TV interview, to a woman behind the camera who had told him to please move closer to a lamp that was in the shot. Please watch this video and tell us if you think this guy is literally American Psycho, or if he's just being sorta rapey. (Those are the only options.)


"I would be happy to move closer to the lamp," Schuette says with a mischievous smile.

With a mischievous smile!

"I will do anything you want. Some things I may not let you run the camera on, but I will certainly happily ..."

Perhaps ... naughty things?

The woman then interrupts and says her intent is to make Schuette "look as good as possible."

"It's no easy task," Schuette replies. "I appreciate your tenacity. I appreciate your spirit of Vincent van Gogh, Rembrandt, and Toulouse-Lautrec."

Tish, you spoke French! Back in my day, this kind of scandalous talk might lead to intercourse, if you know what I mean, because I just said intercourse!

Did you watch the video? Because you need to watch the video this time.

Seriously, was the dude trying to impersonate some sort of film noir character, or is he just a giant dork? Also, who is the woman behind the camera? And why was he talking to her like that?!?! (Haha, the answer to the last question is that men, especially conservative men, have always thought it was pretty much OK for them to say whatever they want to women, without facing consequences. They are just now barely starting to learn that maybe that is not OK. Barely.)

Schuette has responded to the video, saying he doesn't remember it, and aw shucks he was trying to be funny, and thank God he met his heterosexual wife so she could explain to him that he is not funny.

"That apparently was my poor attempt to be humorous 30 years ago," Schuette said in a statement. "The video, which appears to be edited with only one short portion shown, has been in the public domain for some time. It's fortunate for me that Cynthia came into my life and let me know that I am not a very funny guy, but this is no less embarrassing to me today and I regret it."

He regrets being a really weird creeper who seems like he might axe murder everybody real quick, back in 1989. He won't do it again.

Schuette's Democratic opponent Gretchen Whitmer, who is WINNING HIM, has also responded to the video, which we still are creeped out by, even several paragraphs later:

Former Senate Minority Leader Gretchen Whitmer, Schuette's Democratic opponent, said she imagines "everyone who's watched it had the same uncomfortable look on our faces."

Yes, we had that look, on our face!

However, Whitmer needs to make another point:

She said it's more troubling that Schuette has spent his political career "attacking the rights of women and working to take away our access to contraception and health care."

That is more troubling. But when you combine that with the video above, let's just say we think we have a better idea where this dude is coming from than we did before we saw the video.

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Oh well, Michigan, time to go vote now!

(For Gretchen Whitmer, not that creeper above. Duh.)

Definitely don't spend the rest of the morning googling American Psycho clips to see which one is most like Bill Schuette, it will put a real crimp in your day.

[Detroit Free Press]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Wonkette is the ONLY NEWS ON THE INTERNET. Please give us money RIGHT THERE BELOW if you want us to live FOREVER.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC

We know a few things about Donald Trump for 100% certain.

One is that his brain is broken. There are a million examples, but here's one, from this afternoon:

MICHAEL. FLYNN. PLEADED. GUILTY. TO. LYING. TO. THE. FBI!

A judge is not "looking into that situation," you fucking moron!

OK let us not get distracted, as that is not the point of this post.

Another thing we know about Donald Trump is that he sniffs A LOT. During all the debates, he sniffed. During lots of his Hitler rally speeches, he sniffs. When he's on foreign soil, he sniffs. When he's hunkered athwart his golden toilet Makin' Twitters, we assume he sniffs.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
My idiot brother used to get that face during rants

Kentucky's Extra-Crispy wingnut governor Matt Bevin sure knows how to pick a fight. A few years back, during his failed bid to primary Mitch "Top Turtle" McConnell, Bevin explained how "chicken boxing" was a benign pastime that even the founding fathers enjoyed, and also a great big states' rights issue. Once in office, he was, predictably, a reliable supporter of stupid ideas, like spending a lot of money to ramp up a "work requirements" bureaucracy to make sure fewer people received Medicaid, thus spending more but claiming he'd "saved" money. He also claimed this year that striking teachers probably caused an invisible wave of child rape and death, because kids weren't in school. No, of course there wasn't any such result, but hey, it's OK, Bevin eventually not-pologized.

Bevin's other specialty is trying to drum up a good culture-war panic, like that time in 2016 when he predicted there'd be bloodshed if Hillary Clinton were elected, because sane governors predict civil war all the time. That desire to warn of impending calamity seems to be behind Bevin's latest idiocy, a Twitter rant yesterday in response to national investigative nonprofit ProPublica's decision to partner with the Louisville Courier-Journal for coverage of state government. So it only makes sense Bevin would lose his shit over the fact that one of the many sources of funding for ProPublica is George Soros's Open Society Foundation. How dare those monsters bring their radical leftist "reporting" to the Commonwealth of Kentucky!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc