GOP Idiot Running For Governor Of Michigan: Is He LITERAL American Psycho?
After the 2016 election, Bill Schuette, the Republican scumbag running for governor of Michigan, filed to stop the recounts happening there, where Hillary Clinton "lost" by mere thousands of votes, because (get this) the recounts were threatening to SILENCE DEMOCRACY IN ITS VERY CRIB. Yes, that was how he described counting very carefully and being sure you got an accurate tally.
Wasn't that a dumb thing for him to say? Here are some more dumb things Schuette said when he was a young state congressman, in outtakes from a 1989 TV interview, to a woman behind the camera who had told him to please move closer to a lamp that was in the shot. Please watch this video and tell us if you think this guy is literally American Psycho, or if he's just being sorta rapey. (Those are the only options.)
"I would be happy to move closer to the lamp," Schuette says with a mischievous smile.
With a mischievous smile!
"I will do anything you want. Some things I may not let you run the camera on, but I will certainly happily ..."
Perhaps ... naughty things?
The woman then interrupts and says her intent is to make Schuette "look as good as possible."
"It's no easy task," Schuette replies. "I appreciate your tenacity. I appreciate your spirit of Vincent van Gogh, Rembrandt, and Toulouse-Lautrec."
Tish, you spoke French! Back in my day, this kind of scandalous talk might lead to intercourse, if you know what I mean, because I just said intercourse!
Did you watch the video? Because you need to watch the video this time.
Seriously, was the dude trying to impersonate some sort of film noir character, or is he just a giant dork? Also, who is the woman behind the camera? And why was he talking to her like that?!?! (Haha, the answer to the last question is that men, especially conservative men, have always thought it was pretty much OK for them to say whatever they want to women, without facing consequences. They are just now barely starting to learn that maybe that is not OK. Barely.)
Schuette has responded to the video, saying he doesn't remember it, and aw shucks he was trying to be funny, and thank God he met his heterosexual wife so she could explain to him that he is not funny.
"That apparently was my poor attempt to be humorous 30 years ago," Schuette said in a statement. "The video, which appears to be edited with only one short portion shown, has been in the public domain for some time. It's fortunate for me that Cynthia came into my life and let me know that I am not a very funny guy, but this is no less embarrassing to me today and I regret it."
He regrets being a really weird creeper who seems like he might axe murder everybody real quick, back in 1989. He won't do it again.
Schuette's Democratic opponent Gretchen Whitmer, who is WINNING HIM, has also responded to the video, which we still are creeped out by, even several paragraphs later:
Former Senate Minority Leader Gretchen Whitmer, Schuette's Democratic opponent, said she imagines "everyone who's watched it had the same uncomfortable look on our faces."
Yes, we had that look, on our face!
However, Whitmer needs to make another point:
She said it's more troubling that Schuette has spent his political career "attacking the rights of women and working to take away our access to contraception and health care."
That is more troubling. But when you combine that with the video above, let's just say we think we have a better idea where this dude is coming from than we did before we saw the video.
Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
Oh well, Michigan, time to go vote now!
(For Gretchen Whitmer, not that creeper above. Duh.)
Definitely don't spend the rest of the morning googling American Psycho clips to see which one is most like Bill Schuette, it will put a real crimp in your day.
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