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Hooray, we've reached the stage of Donald Trump's impeachment where they just go on TV and say, "Yeah, Trump did the crimes! Crimes are THE BEST! We're taking a blubbering shit on the Constitution and selling America's national security out to our enemies in order to satisfy the whims of the world's stupidest authoritarian leader, and that is a thing we are PROUD OF!"

The messenger today was White House (acting) Chief of Staff/fluffer Mick Mulvaney, and his message was FUCK YEAH BUDDY! CRIME IS COOL! GET OVER IT.

Specifically he admitted that part of why they were extorting Ukraine and withholding aid is because they wanted Ukraine to investigate the syphilis hallucinations Trump and Rudy Giuliani are experiencing about what really happened in 2016, including Trump's bizarre belief that the Russians didn't hack the DNC, Seth Rich stole those emails and framed the Russians for the hacking, and that after a series of exciting and batshit twists and turns, that server was smuggled away from the FBI and is now buried in a rich guy's backyard in Ukraine.

Or whatever the fuck it is.



Here's the transcript:

MICK MULVANEY: Did [Trump] also mention to me in the past the corruption related to the DNC server? Absolutely! No question about that. But that's it! And that's why we held up the money!
ABC NEWS'S JONATHAN KARL: So the demand for an investigation into the Democrats was part of the reason that he ordered to withhold funding to Ukraine?
MICK MULVANEY: The look back to what happened in 2016 certainly was part of the thing that he was worried about in corruption with that nation. And that is absolutely appropriate.

Totally normal!

KARL: That was a factor in withholding the money?
MULVANEY: Yeah. Which ultimately then flowed. [YADDA YADDA ABOUT HOW MICK MULVANEY SAYS IT IS TOO LEGAL TO WITHHOLD MONEY CONGRESS HAS ALREADY APPROPRIATED.] We knew that that money either had to go out the door by the end of September or we had to have a really, really good reason not to do it — and that was the legality of the issue.
KARL: Let's be clear. What you just described is a quid pro quo. Funding will not flow unless the investigation into the Democratic server happened as well.
MULVANEY: We do that all the time with foreign policy. [...] What did [recently resigned Pompeo deputy Michael] McKinley say yesterday? McKinley said yesterday that he was really upset with the political influence in foreign policy. And I have news for everybody. Get over it. There is going to be political influence in foreign policy. That is going to happen. Elections have consequences. And foreign policy is going to change from the Obama administration to the Trump administration. And what you're seeing now, I believe, is a group of mostly career politicians, career bureaucrats, who are saying you know what, I don't like President Trump's politics, so I'm going to participate in this witch hunt that they're having on the Hill.

NO QUID PRO QUO! NO QUID PRO QUO! JUST KIDDING HERE IS THE QUID PRO QUO! GET OVER IT! WE'RE JUST DIFFERENT FROM THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION, BECAUSE WE COMMIT CRIMES A LOT!

And all those witnesses on Capitol Hill? Fuckin' dorks who don't even like committing crimes, that's what THEY ARE.

Also note Mulvaney saying that they do this all the time! You know, in case Congress wants to investigate all the other times Trump has extorted foreign nations to meddle in our elections and politics for his benefit. GET OVER IT!

Let's be clear on what is happening here. The Trump White House has decided it's going to admit that yes, part of why they held up aid Congress had already appropriated for Ukraine to protect itself from Russia, is that President Russian Asset wanted to extort Ukraine into investigating the completely debunked "WHAR DNC SERVER? IS IT IN UKRAIIIIINE? WHAR SERVER?" conspiracy theories that sprout from Trump's rectum like a Chia pet that looks like a butt, in order to absolve Russia of responsibility for ratfucking our 2016 election in order to elect President Russian Asset.

"All roads lead to Putin," just like Nancy Pelosi said.

And they are going to say this is OK and awesome and very legal and very cool.

Note the sleight of hand, though. Because while admitting that, they're specifically not admitting that the aid was also conditional on Ukraine doing make-believe "investigations" of the Bidens in order to help Trump's 2020 election. Good and pure Donald Trump is just concerned about "corruption" in the 2016 election that he won! ("Won.")

Mulvaney specifically denied the Biden aspect today:

"The money held up had absolutely nothing to do with Biden," Mulvaney said

Yeah, uh huh, OK, that's fucking bullshit, because trouble is, Mick Mulvaney, that YOUR DUMBASS CHOP SHOP TRAILER PARK WHITE HOUSE OF FLATULENCE AND RANK INCOMPETENCE ALREADY RELEASED THE FUCKING PARTIAL TRUMP-UKRAINE CALL TRANSCRIPT WHERE DONALD GODDAMN TRUMP SPECIFICALLY TOLD THE PRESIDENT OF UKRAINE TO INVESTIGATE THE BIDENS, RIGHT AFTER HE ASKED UKRAINE TO GET A BUNCH OF SHOVELS AND DIG UP THE BACKYARD TO FIND THE DNC SERVER, ALL OF WHICH WAS IN THE CONTEXT OF TRUMP INTERCEPTING MILITARY AID CONGRESS HAD SENT THAT UKRAINE DESPERATELY NEEDED.

Mick Mulvaney, you FUCKING hack.

Shall we go to the transcript?

TRUMP: I would like you to do us a favor though because our country has been through a lot and Ukraine knows a lot about it. I would like you to find out what happened with this whole situation with Ukraine, they say Crowdstrike ... I guess you have one of your wealthy people ... The server, they say Ukraine has it.

And then Trump added "the other thing," which is the thing Mick Mulvaney did not confess to today, but whatever, Trump confessed to it weeks ago. THE OTHER THING:

TRUMP: There's a lot of talk about Biden's son, that Biden stopped the prosecution and a lot of people want to find out about that so whatever you can do with the Attorney General would be great. Biden went around bragging that he stopped the prosecution so if you can look into it ... It sounds horrible to me.

You know, that "other thing."

So we have a transcript, and apparently there is also a tape, because Mick blabbered out today that there's a tape. Of course there is.

By the way, Mick Mulvaney would like you to know that the Trump Ukraine treason call was perfect and beyond reproach, but HE WAS NOT ON THE CALL, OK?

So here we are! Mick Mulvaney admits there was a massive quid pro quo going on, while still lying about half of it. That's gotta be really interesting for every single congressional Republican who's been flapping their arms the past few weeks saying there wasn't a quid pro quo, and for Donald Trump, who on September 9 angrily told EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland NO QUID PRO QUO! YOU ARE THE QUID PRO QUO! just after acting Ukraine chargé d'affaires Bill Taylor texted Sondland to say it's bugfuck CRAZY that they are doing quid pro quos of military aid in exchange for investigations that benefit the president politically.

Oh yeah, there was also a Rudy part:

But you know what he said? GET OVER IT. President Crime Boss is allowed to use anybody he wants to commit his crimes, because EAT MY ASS IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT. (Treason paraphrase.)

SO HOW'S THIS ALL PLAYING OUT THERE IN WASHINGTON?

Well, part of what Mulvaney said today was also some sort of implication that they were withholding aid to Ukraine to make sure Ukraine was properly helping Bill Barr's Department of Justice in its weirdass Investigate The Investigators probe into the origins of the Russia investigation, in which Barr is traveling the globe like Carmen Sandiego on bath salts, chasing down Trump's conspiracy theories about how Russia didn't do it, HILLARY DNC UKRAINE SETH RICH DID IT! This probe is theoretically being run by US Attorney John Durham. Mulvaney specifically cited "whether or not they were cooperating in an ongoing investigation with our Department of Justice." Uh huh.

Let's go to the Justice Department for comment!

Also too:

OK! Mick Mulvaney has managed to piss off Bill Barr's Justice Department. He really stepped in it!

Let's see what Trump's lawyers think!

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

All righty!

And finally, how's it playing over there on the Hill, where Adam Schiff is impeaching the motherfucker?

Mulvaney's briefing has also reportedly completely "blown up" today's ongoing interview with EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland. So that's fun!

Just yesterday we talked about how Mick Mulvaney is literally up to his Little Mick in Trump's Ukraine scandal. Looks like he just made it worse. A lot worse. Please tell us more about how the whistleblower is fake news and Adam Schiff does treason, though.

Heckuva job, Mickles!

Oh, and we guess this is your open thread, because this news day has murdered us, and we'll have your Wonkette analysis of how Trump blew up the Kurds again and caved to Turkey again bright and early tomorrow. Don't like it? GET OVER IT.

[Axios]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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