Mike Huckabee Outraged Black People Don't Want To Be Shot
Mike Huckabee, another Bible-humping wingnut whackadoodle who just might have to run for president to save America from itself, is a big fan of anarchy. Sometimes. Like, when judicial activists try to cram marriage equality down our throats? That is bad and unconstitutional, according to the Bible, and in Huckabee's ideal America, brave governors who actually care about values and what they are pretty darned sure Jesus meant when he wrote the First Amendment would tell the courts to go throat-cram themselves by refusing to follow these unlawful laws.
Anarchy is a delicate matter, however, and it's not for everyone. Like black people? Definitely not for them.
During his latest stop on his worldwide tour to explain how he, like Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, is God's unqualified instrument, he explained just how dangerous it is when black people act like the First Amendment applies to them too.
I find it just incredibly dangerous that you have members of Congress on the floor of Congress holding up their hands in the “hands up, don’t shoot” position, as if to say that somehow that is going to get you shot.
I’m going to tell you something. What gets you shot is when you grab a police officer’s gun, and you lunge at him, and you try to hit him in the face. And this nonsense that telling young people, “Don’t hold up your hands ‘cause that’s going to get you in trouble,” and instead I guess what they’re teaching them is go loot a store, beat up a cop, reach for his gun, hope you get it before he does -- this is not only foolish and dangerous, but it’s really on the verge of anarchy.
And I’m just disgusted that you have NFL players, politicians, and others who, no matter what the evidence reveals, no matter how many sworn testimonies show, that Darren Wilson -- you know, it’s a tragedy that the young man got shot, but this is a young man who had just roughed up a store owner, just robbed a store, and now he’s going after a cop’s gun, and it’s a horrible thing that he was killed, but he could have avoided that if he’d behaved like something other than a thug.
We're pretty disgusted our own selves that politicians and a few sportsball players held their hands up in the international sign for "go loot a store and do some anarchy," an act of protest that is definitely NOT protected by the First Amendment. Because that's the bad kind of anarchy, the kind of anarchy that leads to black kids getting themselves killed, which they could have avoided if they had simply not been born black or at least avoided having parents who say angry swears or have criminal records.
We really do hope Huckabee runs for president in 2016 -- if he doesn't pursue a professorship in semiotics -- because we look forward to hearing a lot more about his platform of protecting his fellow good Christians' First Amendment right to hate gay people with the good kind of anarchy and putting an end to all these lawless "thugs" who are uppity enough to think the Constitution applies to them too.
I am going with The Great Gazoo.
Fuck Huck.