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Mike Huckabee Simply Fainting At Crass Broads And Their Sweary Filthy Sh*tmouths

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Mike Huckabee, America's favorite moral scold, is at it again. Again again. While pimping his book, he explained how it's not just that whore Beyonce who is corrupting America's lady-youth, but all of the potty-mouthed single ladies who work in New York, aka, Bubbleville:


In Iowa, you would not have people who would just throw the f-bomb and use gratuitous profanity in a professional setting. In New York, not only do the men do it, but the women do it! This is worse than locker room talk! This would be considered totally inappropriate to say these things in front of a woman.

And for a woman to say them in a professional setting, we would only assume that this is a very, as we would say in the South, “That’s just trashy."

Is this the first time Huckabee has clutched his pearls at inappropriate behavior in front of ladies? Fuck no! Let's recall that time just a year ago when he was Hucksplaining How Does Chivalry Work:

“[F]or those of us who have some chivalry left, there’s a level of respect,” Huckabee told TNR. “You treat some things as a special treasure; you treat other things as common.”

“I’ll put it this way,” Huckabee added, “I treat my wife very differently than I treat my chums and my pals. I wouldn’t worry about calling them on Valentine’s Day, opening the door for them, or making sure they were OK.”

[contextly_sidebar id="ojNkgqH00VzERkDNXbdt9VrIH2qVw1ox"]

Fuckin' A, but things have really gone down hill since then, huh? Not only are men not respectin' the ladies like Huckabee respects the shit out of his wife, but trashy ladies themselves are swearin' up a storm. Why, just look at this trashy lady, whoever she is, probably some Democrat begging Uncle Sugar for slut pills.

[contextly_sidebar id="a1HlkvkwnUgSzBcqXd5TIm5lnJcSD85B"]Ugh. Good thing Huckabee is here to tell us what a cesspool of swearin' America has become, thanks to trash like that lady, whoever she is. She's probably the kind of parent who would tell her daughter, "Honey, if you make really good grades, someday when you’re 12 or 13 we’ll get you your own stripper pole?" Or at least praise her daughter for going on a TV show to show off her "scandalous" lap-dancing skills. [contextly_sidebar id="7pWeJqpyJYNNDg5dK5V3fTyg1weed5RB"]

And that is exactly Huckabee's point, America. With trashy ladies talkin' so fuckin' trashy like that and rockin' out to Beyonce and shakin' what their mama grizzlies gave 'em, no wonder this is the perfect time for Mike Huckabee to be president and clean up all this liberal filth. Maybe with a nice wholesome little ditty about making kitty cats purr.

[Think Progress]

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Gonna be a long day, y'all, you ready to dive in? We should note at the outset that any of the questions about obstruction of justice are colored by the fact that Trump refused to sit for an interview with Robert Mueller. Guess that's part of why Robert Mueller refused to clear him! But anyway, we will have more time for thoughts as we read.

Let's read the Mueller Report!

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April 20 will be the 20th anniversary of the massacre at Columbine High School. Mother Jones yesterday published a report on mass shooters (or would-be shooters) who in one way or another mentioned the Columbine murders as something they wanted to emulate, or as a benchmark they hoped to outdo. Since 1999, there have been more than 100 plots or actual attacks influenced by Columbine. MoJo national affairs editor Mark Follman notes,

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