Mike Huckabee's Shriveled Manhood Threatened By Gay Homosexual Army Secretary
Oh, poor Mike Huckabee! It seems that not a day goes by when he doesn't wake up to some new terrible gay homosexual Muslim threat to his "religious liberty" or his failing manhood. Sometimes it's how Syrian refugees are probably just BIG FAKERS, who only want to come to America so they also, too, can be dissatisfied Comcast customers. Sometimes it's how the Supreme Court obviously doesn't understand that "supreme" doesn't mean it gets to force gay marriage down America's throat without asking Huckabee's Jesus if it's OK, and guess what, Huckabee's Jesus does NOT say it's OK. And now Barack Obama has completely surrendered to the gay ISIS terrorist clock-makers, by nominating a gay man, Eric Fanning, as secretary of the Army. Next we'll be surrendering to the French, probably!
Here's Huck, bitching and moaning on his Facebook:
It's clear President Obama is more interested in appeasing America's homosexuals than honoring America's heroes. Veterans suicide is out-of-control and military readiness is dangerously low, yet Obama is so obsessed with pandering to liberal interest groups he's nominated an openly gay civilian to run the Army. Homosexuality is not a job qualification. The U.S. military is designed to keep Americans safe and complete combat missions, not conduct social experiments.
Hahahaha, he is hilariously pathetic. In his tiny brain, he can't even fathom how this one fag dude named Eric MIGHT be the most qualified man for the job. Huck is, of course, one of those sad conservative Christian men who thinks gay men are somehow less manly than he is, and therefore couldn't POSSIBLY do the job like a real macho heterosexual conservative man (like Huckabee? LOL) could do it. Surely this nancy boy's stones could NEVER measure up to whatever Man Testicles are currently stuck to Huckabee's rash-infested thighs.
And as to his comment that "homosexuality is not a job qualification," does Huckabee really think Obama picked this dude BASED on his gayness? As if Obama met the dude and said to himself, "Oh, how impressive! If this man sucks the D as well as everyone says, he'll be a MARVELOUS Army secretary!" (That's how they pick Navy secretaries, JUST KIDDING.)
Let's learn about Eric Fanning for a second:
His long tenure in the Pentagon and his breadth of experience in shepherding some of the department’s most complex and sensitive weapons programs was a key factor in his nomination for the Army’s top job, administration officials said. [...]
Fanning has been a trusted ally of Defense Secretary Ashton B. Carter, who tapped Fanning last year to oversee his transition team as he moved into the Pentagon’s top job. He also served briefly as acting Air Force secretary, a deputy undersecretary of the Navy and has been acting undersecretary of the Army since June 2015.
Fanning’s new boss in the Pentagon described him as “one of our country’s most knowledgeable, dedicated, and experienced public servants.”
Defense officials said that Fanning might be the only person in history to serve at senior levels in all three services. “He understands how the Pentagon works and how to get things done in the Pentagon,” said Rudy de Leon, who was deputy defense secretary in the Clinton administration. “He knows what works and what doesn’t work.”
Well goddamn, it almost sounds as if President Queer-Lover didn't just march into a drag show and pick a homosexual at random to run the Army, and instead tapped this guy because OMG he's a great choice, imagine that.
Wonkette would like to extend its congratulations to Fanning for being so good at doing gayness that he gets to be boss of the Army now, and as always, we invite Mike Huckabee to go fuck himself in the ear with a rainbow-bedazzled dildo.