Mike Pence Pretty Sure Dear Leader's SCOTUS Pick Already Confirmed, BY DADDY TRUMP JESUS

Vice President Mike Pence has heard the message he's supposed to be saying, and we don't know if Mother had to spank him on his bottom to make him do it or not, but the message is fascism. Specifically, the message is that Donald Trump's Supreme Court nominee is ALREADY CONFIRMED, whether any of us likes it or not, no matter who Trump picks. "Advise and consent"? More like "MOTHER MAY I," right, Mike? Except in this case "Mother" is "Daddy," by which we mean Donald Trump.

Pence told North Korean News Lady Lou Dobbs on Tuesday night that they should only have a confirmation hearing for Trump's nominee to soil Ruth Bader Ginsburg's seat on the Court "if needs be."

PENCE: We respect the role of the Senate to advise and consent but President Trump truly believes that the Senate should move thoroughly, thoughtfully and quickly, and move to consideration, a hearing, if needs be and ultimately to a floor vote because we, you know, we have, we have major issues in the country today.

You know, Lou, with all of the talk about universal unsolicited mail-in balloting where we see states around the country that are now extending the deadline, there is a possibility that election issues may come before the Supreme Court in the days following the election and all the more reason why we should have nine justices on the Supreme Court to, to be able to resolve any issues that may arise then or on any other matters.

Gotta have a rubber-stamping, ass-sucking grifter on the Court in order to help Trump steal the 2020 election from a country that loathes him! You know, in case there are "election issues" like America voting overwhelmingly for Joe Biden to replace him. That's not how fake elections work in fascist countries like what the GOP and Trump want to turn America into. Just ask Trump's string-pullers in Russia and Turkey. Any ballots that come in that have the other guy's name on them are just obviously fake.

Pence has clearly been listening to Rush Limbaugh, who said this week that the Senate Judiciary Committee shouldn't even hold a confirmation hearing for Trump's nominee, because confirmation hearings are for pussies democracies. Because "Why not just blow up another tradition?" Because "We don't want to give Kamala Harris the opportunity to grandstand in that committee," as if she were some sort of member of the Senate Judiciary Committee from California.

Maybe he's also been listening to Judiciary Committee Chair Lindsey Graham, who went on "Hannity" the other night and bragged that "we have the votes to confirm the justice on the floor of the Senate before the election." That's right, no matter who it is. Associate Justice Ivanka Trump? Sure why not! Associate Justice Donald Trump Jr.? Haha, his daddy doesn't love him enough. Associate Justice Diamond and Silk? NOW WE'RE TALKIN'.

Trump is likely to pick Serena Joy Waterford we mean Amy Coney Barrett, but there are a couple other assholes he could choose when he names his pick Saturday. You know, unless he goes off on his own and picks somebody outside the box, like Rudy Giuliani, because that's an idea the president of the United States actually had with his brain.

We've said it a million times, but the only way to beat this is to beat the fucking shit out of them so hard on November 3 that their goddamned heads spin. (WITH VOTES.)

Forty-one days.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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