​Mike Pence Wasn't 'Ordered' To Slip Cash In Trump's Stocking, He Did It Because He Wanted To.

​Mike Pence Wasn't 'Ordered' To Slip Cash In Trump's Stocking, He Did It Because He Wanted To.

Why is Mike Pence still talking? The guy got caught stuffing wads of cash into the Ol' Yeti's pubes -- BUT NOT IN A GAY WAY! -- and he still will not shut up. His own chief of staff Marc Short told reporters on the record that Donald Trump advised Pence to stay at his Doonbeg Golf resort. There is zero ambiguity here.

REPORTER: Did President Trump ask Vice President Pence to stay at the property?

SHORT: I don't think it was a request like a command, Bob. I think that it was a suggestion.

REPORTER: What does that mean?

SHORT: It's like when we went through the trip, it's like, well, he's going to Doonbeg because that's where the Pence family is from. It's like, "Well, you should stay at my place."

But now Short and the White House are howling about "misreporting" and claiming it's Fake News that Trump suggested Pence and his family stay there. Pence had to go visit the old bones of Irish ancestors, who were all robustly heterosexual, and there was simply no place in Doonbeg to accommodate him and his entourage. Besides, Pence paid expenses for his wife, mother, and sister, ipso facto there can be no corruption when he stuffs money into the president's pants.

At no time did the President direct our office to stay at Doonbeg resort and any reporting to the contrary is false.

Which might well be true, but no one is reporting that Trump ordered Pence to park dozens of staffers and Secret Service personnel in the president's hotel. Trump suggested it, and Pence, as his own COS freely admitted, was only too happy to travel back and forth 180 miles if it meant kicking up cash to his boss.


This isn't even the first time this has happened! The New York Times reports that Pence's Great America PAC spent upwards of $225,000 at Trump's DC hotel, with more at the Trump National Golf Club in Virginia. The VP's brother, Rep. Greg Pence, spent another $45,000 at the Trump International in DC. In the Trump era, it's entirely normal for Republican politicians and lobbyists to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars at Trump properties, funneling cash directly into the president's pockets. FFS, Attorney General William Barr booked a $30,000 Christmas party at Trump's DC hotel with some bullshit wheeze about it being the only place available.

And that's before we even talk about the 290-plus days Trump has collected rent and greens fees from the Secret Service so that he can park his flabby, orange can on the sofa and watch Fox at one of his own properties. Or the fact that he's trying to get the G7 booked at his own Casa Bedbug resort in Florida. They are grifting in plain sight, and they give no fucks who sees it.

Well, perhaps they give half a fuck, maybe a quarter. CNN reports that Trump is "irked" that Pence's Doonbeg fuckery kicked up so much attention. Donald Trump's not leaning on an employee, see, it's just that he's constantly pressuring everyone to throw cash at him. So no harm, no foul, right?

A person familiar with the President's thinking explained the pattern as Trump's genuine belief that his locations are the best place for aides to lodge, and makes similar recommendations to his friends who do not work for him.


Weirdly enough, whichever White House spokesliar was dispatched to clean this shit up was unwilling to do it on the record. But she still did it.

In sum, the White House is a brothel, the Republicans are all fornicators, Mike Pence is definitely not gay, and Donald Trump never gives it away for free.


Follow Liz (AKA your FDF) on Twitter!

Please click here to fund your Wonkette, who got rid of all those gross ads that broke your browser.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc