Missouri Family Values Republican Sorry For Sexting Co-Ed, Ready To Forget This Ever Happened
Missouri House Speaker John Diehl -- Republican, family man, church-goer, and opponent of marriage equality because "tradition" and "the children" -- is very, very sorry y'all found out about his sexxxytime texting with a college freshman and telling her paperback romance novel words like he wants to "leave her quivering" and also looking at pictures of her hot bikini'd bod and such.
It was bad and wrong and gosh, he's VERY sorry, he said in a statement, so let's move on now, m'kay?
I take full responsibility for my actions and am truly sorry to those I let down. I apologize for the poor judgment I displayed that put me and those closest to me in this situation. I also regret that the woman has been dragged into this situation. The buck stops here. I ask for forgiveness. I will begin immediately working to restore the trust of those closest to me, and getting back to the important work that is required in the final days of session.
Sure, no problem, buddy. That's how it works for Republicans who get caught doing naughty sinful sex stuff on the down low, while publicly screeching about whores and homos destroying marriage and society and everything. You just say you're sorry, preferably with your wife biting her tongue beside you, and ask for forgiveness -- or, for the bolder Republicans, announce that God already said "No worries, man, s'all good," or, if you're Newt Gingrich, explain that you did it because you fucking LOVE America that much.
Anyway, that's all behind us now. Speaker Diehl demonstrated poor judgment in doing sexytalk to that college freshman intern, but he's ready to get back to work now, so let's move on, eh? Sure, why not! Oh, well maybe because some Missouri Democrats aren't ready to move on and are circulating a petition demanding that the speaker self-deport himself from the speaker's office or face a potential recall, for being a naughty House speaker. Naturally, being a Republican, Speaker Diehl has told Democrats to fuck themselves because he's already apologized, so nope, he's not going anywhere. Being Democrats, they'll say "OK fine" and do just that.