Won't Someone Think Of The Poor AR-15's? Oh, This Assh*le Will!
There's been another massacre with a semiautomatic rifle, so naturally, gun sales will likely boom again, as every American gun humper worries Barack Obama is coming to take their precious precious guns away. And how will they prevent tyranny then, huh? Especially because in New Zealand, Barack Obama, or his puppet, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, announced New Zealand will tighten restrictions on guns and move to ban military-style semiauto rifles altogether. Fortunately, some Americans are speaking out, since they know Liberty rests on a solid base of owning a larger personal arsenal and trolling the libs.
For starters, there's weekend "Fox & Friends" host Pete Hegseth, who proclaimed yesterday that since Beto O'Rourke is calling for renewing the assault weapons ban, now is the time to get out there and start stockpiling weapons:
Fox host Pete Hegseth tells viewers to stock up on AR-15s: "Go out and get your second AR-15 today. Maybe it's a go… https://t.co/dburIwGAzu— Media Matters (@Media Matters)1552837057.0
And Missouri state Rep. Andrew McDaniel (R-NRA) has found himself getting all sorts of attention for a pair of pro-gun bills he introduced last month, well before the massacre. One, the "McDaniel Second Amendment Act," would mandate that everyone in Missouri over the age of 21 purchase at least one handgun, and the other, the "McDaniel Militia Act," would require everyone between 18 and 35 buy an AR-15, because duh they are in the militia! McDaniel's Militia, apparently. It is a very smart law!
Any person who qualifies as a resident on August 28, 2019, and who does not own an AR-15 shall have one year to purchase an AR-15. Any resident qualifies as a resident after August 28, 2019, and does not own an AR-15 shall purchase an AR-15 no later than one year after qualifying as a resident.
The bill would only allow you to sell your AR-15 if you have or purchase a spare, so you always have an AR-15. And yes, it specifies that particular type of gun, because that is the most Americanest gun and an AK-47 or other semiautomatic rifle would not count.
Both bills would provide a million dollars each in tax credits to help people buy firearms, which McDaniel says is the real point of the bills. In fact, McDaniel told the Washington Post, the entire point of the "mandates" in the bills was to draw outrage from liberals and win media attention, which he now has. Let's alllll look at Andrew McDaniel, who wants attention, shall we, class? He says he'd strip out the mandates if the bills ever advanced, which they haven't, making them simple tax credits for anyone who wants a gun.
He's an excellent case study in how we got from those funny guys in powdered wigs debating democracy in weird fancy language, to today's far superior model of government by trolling. Hurr hurr, libs want to mandate health insurance? How about mandatory GUNS!!!
Soon, McDaniel was forced to clarify that he didn't — technically speaking — support his own bills, at least not as written.
He wants the tax credits for firearms purchases, but that part about requiring everyone to own a gun? It was a tactic to try to bait the left.
"I wanted the media and the other side to jump on it, to show that our Second Amendment rights are under attack," McDaniel said. "I don't actually support mandates, hardly ever."
But don't worry, Mr. McDaniel is not a monster! He is very sad about the massacre in Christchurch, and seems mildly bothered that he's now getting lots and lots of attention:
He called the massacre, which left 50 people dead, "horrific" and said he "should have known" that the media would seize on his legislation in the wake of a tragedy. It's true, he acknowledged, that his intention had been to elicit breathless coverage in the press, but only from "local news organizations," he said.
McDaniel explained that when he heard the news of New Zealand's reaction to the massacre, he naturally felt sad and awful about the poor guns, but thank goodness that could never happen here! When McDaniel
got wind of the possibility that owning semiautomatic rifles could become more difficult halfway around the globe, a feeling of patriotism washed over him. "I'm glad I live in the U.S.A.," McDaniel, 35, said in an interview with The Washington Post.
Oh yes, and to anyone like those crazy New Zealanders who think making death machines less readily available might somehow cut down on murder, McDaniel knows much better. He's also pushed a bill that would have allowed Missourians with concealed carry permits to purchase guns without a background check from licensed firearms dealers, because just look how much burdensome regulation they've already faced. Regulating the militia can never make America safer, after all.
McDaniel said he would respond to this point with "the same argument I always use — people are going to be evil and do evil things no matter what." The only hope, he maintained, is that potential victims can "protect themselves against other evil people."
You see, pumping more and more guns into the hands of more and more people is the only thing that can make us safe, because laws don't work at all. That's why he became a lawmaker. Or at least part of it -- at the very least, he explained, he knows he went into politics because he wanted to use legislation to get back at liberals, although he isn't sure now what exactly it was that pissed him off so much:
He said he couldn't remember the specifics of what bothered him but recalled being "aggravated at the news" and "far-left ideas" he encountered on television.
I'll never forget the thing that got me interested in politics. It was something, for sure. WaPo also notes that McDaniel originally wanted to become a prosecutor, "but he didn't have the funds to get far enough in school. He still hopes to complete a bachelor's degree in criminal justice."
Huh. So now we've found one case study for why free college might not be such a great idea. Suck it, libs.
The piece closes with McDaniel making the usual argument: Everyone needs guns because laws and law enforcement are useless:
From his time policing the rural floodplains of Pemiscot County [...] he learned a lesson that has stayed with him: "Law enforcement's not always going to be there."
"I always have a gun on me, I'll put it that way," he said. "It's an attachment to my body."
You have to be armed at all times so you can kill the bad guys who want to kill you. This is just logic after all.
We're waiting for McDaniel's brain to explode when he realizes where that logic ends up: He's calling for all Muslims to carry semiautomatic rifles with them to their mosques. That should go over great with his rightwing constituents.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.