Missouri Training Teachers To Pack Guns; Everything To Be Just Fine Now


While some people are getting their knickers in a twist about guns and trying to limit the number of guns in circulation, the good people of Missouri are taking a more direct approach, getting guns into the hands of classroom teachers where they belong. TheKansas City Star had a big Sunday profile on one training program for Armed Educators, which is turning mere teachers into the sharp-eyed killing machines that their districts' parents need them to be. It looks pretty effective, especially if you're the guy with the contract to run the training program.

The article is full of lines like this:

In the year and a half since the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary, as America has struggled to find the answer to its epidemic of school shootings, some districts have decided that teachers are the ultimate first responders and need to learn to shoot back.

We are perhaps just a little bit biased, what with our history of being wimpy liberals, but we actually are not one tiny bit reassured knowing that somewhere in Missouri, the gym teacher who motivated everyone by calling them a bunch of faggots is now going to be thinking of himself as "the ultimate first responder" because he's had a 40 hour training course and carries a Glock. Still, let's not worry ourselves too much about whether arming teachers is a good idea -- god knows some of the teachers are more than willing to blow away their students if they suddenly turn bad:

So, are these teachers ready to pull the trigger on a shooter? How about if it’s a kid they’ve had in class?

“None of us would be here if we haven’t already answered that question,” one man said.


The training program is run by a "former Missouri Highway Patrol trooper" named Greg Martin, who is no fan of uniformed armed guards, for a very obvious tactical reason:

districts should not rely on uniformed guards, whom he views as “soft targets” -- the first person a gunman would try to take out. Martin also thinks that a few minutes of police response time is far too long if somebody starts shooting in a school.

Isn't it nice to know that we have people out there ready to help us plan every schoolday as a potential SWAT exercise? Mr. Martin has also given serious thought to the importance of having our children's armed guardians blend in with the school population:

His plan calls for one or two staff members carrying concealed weapons, anonymously, their identities known only to school district administration and local law enforcement.

“Like air marshals on planes,” Martin said. “How many hijackings have we had since 9/11?”

See, this man has given it a lot of thought, and he has figured out that the threat of possibly someone on an airplane being armed made all the difference, since that's apparently the only change in air travel security he's noticed. Never mind actual security experts like Bruce Schneier, who says that, really, there are just two changes that have made the biggest difference since 9/11: "reinforcing the cockpit door, and convincing passengers they need to fight back." Everything else, he suggests, is "security theater" -- it looks impressive, but has little practical effect. Same goes for "solutions" like arming the teachers. It plays to the NRA fantasy but in real mass shootings, the gunman is almost always tackled, not shot by a good guy with a gun, or he shoots himself as soon as he hears sirens.

We're more inclined to agree with G.A. Buie, a high school principal in Eudora, Kansas, and the head of the National Association of Secondary School Principals, who says arming teachers is kind of a stupid idea:

“We would be asking school officials, trained as educators, to make a quick transition from teacher to SWAT member, arrive on the scene, assess the situation, overcome the severe nervousness that naturally accompanies a deadly force incident and take immediate action before blood is shed,” Buie said.

“It’s a bit more than you can cover in a typical teacher in-service.”

Still, Martin has a really impressive little pretend boot camp going, complete with making the recruits run a mountain trail or do pushups when they accidentally hit the paper squares representing students instead of the targets representing the bad guys. Martin gets $17,500 for every two school staffers he puts through his 40-hour training course, and so far, ten school districts in Missouri have signed up. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal that will definitely work out just great! And no school will ever have to worry that its armed teachers will screw up and accidentally shoot a kid, because as we all know, once you've been trained on the proper handling of a weapon, you just don't make stupid mistakes. Heck, trained firearms users never screw up around kids. If they did, we'd hear about it somewhere, we bet. And as we all know, it's impossible to stop shooters any other way.

[Kansas City Star via FoxNews / NYT / Photo credit: Rich Sugg/Kansas City Star]

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DHS photo (Every damn ICE pic looks like this)

Donald Trump's immigration goon squads were all set to start mass arrests and deportations of families in multiple cities Sunday, but before the raids started, he tweeted Saturday that he'd decided to delay the operation by two weeks -- to allow Democrats a chance to join Republicans in trashing US asylum law. Trump took a phone call Friday evening from Nancy Pelosi urging him to hold off on the raids, although it's also possible that internal disagreements about the operation at the Department of Homeland Security may have been part of the reason for the delay, too. In the meantime, Trump gets to terrify undocumented families some more and rant about deporting "millions," although the planned operation was actually targeted only at a couple thousand people who have already received deportation orders.

Immigration and Customs Enforcement had been gearing up to start raids in 10 US cities, including Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami, and Baltimore, to show how tough America is, and never mind that the sweeps would certainly have led to more family separations, as ICE scooped up at least some undocumented parents of children born in the US. The news also comes while the media is reporting filthy, inhuman conditions at the border camps where newly arrested immigrants, including babies, are being packed in, leading to plenty of awkward questions about why the government suddenly wants to arrest more people in the interior of the country? (Hint: President Eichmann just announced his reelection bid.)

The Great Deporter announced the delay of the operation Saturday by Twitter, as if that were normal, then followed up with more bluster Sunday.

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Kamala Harris was holding it down at the South Carolina Democratic Convention this weekend, and she wasn't just there to kick it at Clyburn's Fish Fry, hang out with Berndog Sanders, and just look extra good. No. She fucking running for President, and she's actually got a chance, unlike the many Mayo Casserole Men who keep jumping into the damn race. Why did they jump in after Kamala and Elizabeth Warren, the only people who are even running, clearly said, "We got it from here, boys"? Not sure, but regardless, it was unnecessary. Doesn't matter anyway because who is gonna remember Dadface McDorksky when Kamala is turning it the fuck out with speeches indicting Trump?

Do you believe in America? Kamala Harris believes in America, and her Saturday speech calls out for justice, and righteousness; where Barack Obama struck hopeful, dulcet, aspirational tones, Harris strikes sharp chords of urgency. To say that she read Trump the riot act would be, and is, an understatement; what she did here raised a crucial reality that some Dems refuse to see. Trump MUST be prosecuted. The Democratic nominee will wear many hats, and one of the most important of those hats is that of a prosecutor. There is a case to be made against Donald J. Trump, hell, there are so many cases, and as far as Harris is concerned, who better to make that case, but a COP? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kamala Harris at the South Carolina Democratic Convention June, 22 2019

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