Let's Take A Break From Kevin McCarthy To Remember What A Craven Sh*theel Mitch McConnell Is

There's been so much focus on House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy and his dirty naughty tapes where he spoke ill of Dumpy Hitler, once and future king of the GOP, it's easy to forget the book from whence all this reporting is coming has had some juicy scoops about Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell too.

McConnell was reportedly so excited after January 6 that Democrats were going to impeach the motherfucker and take care of "the son of a bitch for us." At one point he reportedly said, "If this isn't impeachable, I don't know what is." It seemed like he might even be a Republican senator to vote to convict Trump at one point, but then he decided to be a coward instead.

This week there's been more McConnell news from that book, and we wanted to acknowledge it before it gets lost forever. This is a specific conversation between McConnell and one of the book's authors, Jonathan Martin, on January 7, 2021 — seems like that might have been "news" fit "to print" right about then! — shortly after midnight:

“I feel exhilarated by the fact that this fellow finally, totally discredited himself,” McConnell told Jonathan Martin, one of the authors of a new book called “This Will Not Pass,” when asked about his feelings on the violence and the rioters.

He felt exhilarated. The attack was still fresh, yet McConnell had time to think about how much Trump had just hurt himself.

Give McConnell credit for one thing, he's petty as fuck.

Trump, the Kentucky Republican said, “was pretty thoroughly discredited by this.”

“He put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger,” he said, standing in a doorway of the Capitol after midnight. “Couldn’t have happened at a better time.”

Trump had finally done it. To himself! And Mitch McConnell loved it.

This was in the earlier reporting, but McConnell directly asked Martin late night/morning what the buzz was about the 25th Amendment. He told Martin he had been talking to Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi and that they might all put out a statement together telling Donald Trump to keep his ass away from the inauguration.

Amazing, considering how much he did none of those things, like a coward.

But wait, there's more. Late that night/early morning, McConnell was talking a big game about fucking shit up in 2022 and beyond:

McConnell tells his staff that Trump is a “despicable person” and says he will take him on politically.

“We crushed the sons of b----es,” he said to Martin, according to the book, “and that’s what we’re going to do in the primary in ’22.”

Well that's a far cry from how McConnell recently said he'd definitely support Donald Trump if he's the nominee in 2024.

As for other late breaking excerpts going around from the book, Maggie Haberman tweeted out an exchange between the authors and Trump, who whines and says that if McConnell had gone along with his fever dreams about a stolen election, they'd have been having this conversation in the White House and not Mar-a-Lago. Then he insulted Kevin McCarthy, saying that if McCarthy was telling people he had said cross words to Trump during the January 6 attack — you know, those famous McCarthy/Trump phone calls we still don't really know about — McCarthy was lying.

And why would McCarthy say that, if so?

"Inferiority complex," Trump said.

And finally, Manu Raju tweets out this charming excerpt about a thing that happened with Democratic Senator Joe Manchin in early 2021. You see, Susan Collins, John Thune, and Rob Portman were all begging Manchin to quit being a Democrat and come sit at the losers table with them. And Manchin said no, he would not do that. BUT! He said he'd totally do it if John Thune was the leader of the Senate Republicans instead of Mitch McConnell.

On one hand, nobody was talking about making Thune leader and not McConnell, so it was safe for Manchin to say that ass-licking gross thing.

On the other hand, God, Manchin is a piece of shit.

On the other hand, well at least he really seems to despise the idea of letting McConnell be in control. "Manchin was not about to put Mitch McConnell back in charge of the Senate," the book says.

In summary and in conclusion, man, fuck everybody in this entire blog post, we hate them all and we hope they all get their own big toes stuck inside their own buttholes.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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