Mitch McConnell Notices Economy Pretty Good, Figures He Built That
It looks like Republicans have finally figured out how they're going to deal with the unfortunate fact that the economy has been steadily improving under Barack Obama: Just say it was all due to the wisdom of Republicans. Michele Bachmann has already taken credit for low gasoline prices, and now Mitch McConnell is saying that the most recent good economic news is obviously in reaction to Republicans winning the Senate in November. In a speech to his brand-new majority Wednesday, McConnell said it was all pretty obvious:
After so many years of sluggish growth, we're finally starting to see some economic data that can provide a glimmer of hope. The uptick appears to coincide with the biggest political change of the Obama administration's long tenure in Washington: the expectation of a new Republican Congress.
And of course, for true believers, it makes perfect sense, since it's a given that Barack Obama is only capable of making the economy worse, ever since he caused the mortgage bubble to collapse a year before he took office and closed a bunch of factories while George Bush was still President. Therefore, it's only logical that Republicans made it happen, duh. Next you'll be saying that Barack Obama, a proven wimp, somehow deserves credit for how George W. Bush eliminated Osama bin Laden.
Honestly, we don't see how anyone can top the official response of the Democratic National Committee, which emailed a statement with the highly accurate subject line "DNC to McConnell: Hahahahahahahahahahaha."
The statement went on:
Hahahahahahahahahahaha. That Mitch McConnell is one funny guy. He likes to remind people all the time that he’s not a scientist. Now we know he’s not a mathematician or an economist either. The fact is, under President Obama we’ve had 57 straight months of private sector job growth leading to nearly 11 million jobs added. All Republicans have given us is a government shutdown that cost the economy $24 billion. I get why he wants to take credit for the economic recovery. But maybe he should first do something to help contribute to it.
That just seems pretty mean, DNC Communications Director Mo Elleithee, and we're sure that the Republicans will be quite happy to explain why you are wrong. For one thing, all those months of consecutive growth were most likely the result of a very long-term anticipation of the 2014 elections and the Republicans taking the Senate. No, shut up about the 2012 presidential election. Also, maybe the government shutdown actually caused the recovery -- businesses saw that the GOP was serious about stopping Obamacare, and so they started hiring again. Yeah, that's the ticket!
We're tempted to drag out the old Ann Richards/Jim Hightower joke* about George H.W. Bush: He was born on third base but he thinks he hit a triple. Except in the case of the current economy and the GOP, it's probably more accurate to say that Obama dragged them kicking and screaming to where they are. But now that they're there, they want him ejected from the game.
* And yeah, the expression has been around longer, but they made it stick.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.