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Mitt Romney Will Now Explain Why Implementing The Dream Act Hurts The Dream Act

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It is hard to be Mitt Romney trying to decide what he wants people to think he believes about immigration. He has to strike just the right note: not alienating Latino voters while being totally and constantly bug-eyed, Jan Brewer-style racist for the GOP base. The most important part of this three-legged stool, though? Beingthe opposite of Barack Obama at all times!


"I believe the status of young people who come here through no fault of their own is an important matter to be considered and should be solved on a long-term basis so they know what their future would be in this country," Romney said.

OK, Mitt Romney is for the Dream Act, fellows! You remember -- the super-duper popular part of immigration reform that applies to kids who came here illegally before they were 16, and are good kids who want to either go to college or join the Army. How popular is the Dream Act? Three-fourths of Arizonans support it. So how do you think he will blame Obama for making it happen? Put on your thinking brain. Do you have a guess?

He continued: "I think the actions that the president took today make it more difficult to reach that kind of long term solution because an executive order, of course, is a short-term matter that can be reversed by subsequent presidents."

So Obama's executive order on deportation priorities and enforcement will somehow preclude Congress from passing it too? Sure, why not! Do you find this tortured? Of course you do. That logic was waterboarded, put in pink underwear, and had to listen to "Oops! I Did It Again" for seven days straight. Congress would not pass the Dream Act. Obama used his authority to direct executive-branch agencies to implement it anyway, because Congress would not pass it. Obama is a poopyhead for leaving it to be overturned by future administrations, as is the nature of executive orders. Why won't Barack Obama just be Congress? We know! He is too busy golfing! [BuzzFeed]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Good morning, America! Attorney General Bill Barr is doing a presser at 9:30 AM EDT about the Mueller report, which nobody will be able to see until around noon or after, once Congress gets the redacted report on CDs. Seeing as that is bullshit, there's no reason to watch this thing, as journalists won't be able to ask him questions about a document they haven't seen. So ... go back to bed, everyone!

Ugh, fine, we guess we will do this, and that is because we care, even though we are quite certain HGTV is doing some kind of very important "Property Brothers" marathon that adds much more of value to the national discourse, and also covers it up with shiplap accent walls. Does Bill Barr do cover-ups with shiplap? No, because he doesn't have the good taste for that.

Reportedly, we are going to hear from Barr why certain things were redacted, including why he thinks certain facts are subject to executive privilege, which is funny because he is not the president and therefore cannot invoke executive privilege. But oh whatever! Details! Robert Mueller won't be there and none of his team will be there, which tells you something about how they feel about this whole process. If they felt like this was on the up-and-up, you'd imagine they might show up to present a united front. As that is not happening, assume the entire thing is a bullshit act meant to help Donald Trump set the narrative for what will otherwise be a very bad day for him.

The New York Times reported last night that the White House has already been briefed on significant portions of the report, because Bill Barr is a rightwing scam artist piece of shit who gives the Trump White House reacharounds. The briefings have reportedly been very helpful for the White House in coming up with how to rebut today's report, which is funny because we thought Trump said this report was a full exoneration, NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION. (Actually nope on both counts, since Mueller didn't decide the obstruction question, and even according to Barr's mash notes, he took a very limited view of the conspiracy question, focusing on the Russian government's hack and dump WikiLeaks operation.)

Anyway, assuming Trump is right about full exoneration, we guess Rudy Giuliani's rebuttal will state that Trump is guilty, full stop. Because that's what "rebuttal" means, correct?

Committee chairs in the House including Jerry Nadler, Adam Schiff and Maxine Waters have called upon Bill Barr to cancel today's briefing, as it is useless horseshit. Because Barr literally gives zero fucks about his reputation and apparently is OK with going down in history as a fecal stain on our institutions and the rule of law, the show will go on.

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Now What? Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 18, 2019

Bill Barr's book report, the NRA is doomed, and Johnny Cash will watch over the Capitol. Your morning news brief!

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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