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Too bad you don't have a scratch-n-sniff screen!


Any of y'all that saw the recipes I used to post in the comments -- which are not allowed, so none of you have seen them, as they must be entirely imaginary - will know that I have a fondness for overly fussy recipes with a twenty-leven page list of ingredients and a 93 step process that takes, like, a day and a half. To make toast, or something.

But, even I acknowledge that there are a hell of a lot more Mondays and Fridays where you just got home from work and just need to FEED PEOPLE, not futz around for three hours worrying about the perfect balance of sweet vs savory, than there are lazy Saturdays when you can just play in the kitchen.

So, today, you're getting THREE recipes, for a whole meal. Why all of them at once? Because these are ALL so dead simple I couldn't possibly make a post of out each of them. But just because they're easy, doesn't mean they aren't worth making! They totally are! And you can put the whole damn thing on the table in less than an hour.

Today, I'm making WINE BRAISED CHICKEN BREASTSES, MASHED YAMS, and SPINACH SAUTEED IN BROWN BUTTER & GARLIC - and you should make it, too! Cause, you're gonna like it.

Drinkage. Look. It's Monday night, you just walked in from work, you have to cook . . . and you're worried about how much to drink? Telling you like a friend: there may be an issue here. Besides, didn't you have enough last night during the debate? I saw your comments! *sigh* OK. A glass of the white wine. ONE! Maybe a second one while you eat.

WHAT YOU NEED:

For The Chicken Breastses:

  • 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts.
  • Salt & Pepper
  • 1/2 cup flour
  • 1 Tbls Paprika
  • 4 Tbls butter
  • 1 cup dry white wine
  • 2 cubes chicken boullion
  • OPTIONALLY:
  • 1/2 cup Cream/Half-n-Half/other dairy
  • 1 tbls cornstarch

An appropriately sized frying pan, spatula and . . . not much else. Measuring spoons/cups, a plate? Yeah, that covers it.

For the Mashed Yams:

  • Yams. About 4 - 5 pounds.
  • 4 Tbls butter
  • ~3 Tbls {cream/half and half/whole milk/bletch/whybother?}
  • 2 (generous) tbls Brown Sugar
  • salt
  • pepper

Potato peeler, knife, cutting board, a big-ass pot full of water, and a potato masher. Whatever bowl you're serving it from, assuming you're not serving right outta the pot.

For the Spinach:

That's only half the spinach. HALF.

  • 2 lbs Baby Spinach
  • 3 Tbls butter
  • 4 - 5 cloves garlic
  • Salt & pepper, to taste
  • juice of one lemon

An ENORMOUS frying pan, cooking tongs, and whatever I forgot. You're an adult, figure it out as you go.

WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU NEED:

FIRSTLY: Cook the yams.

  • Peel them bitches. Cut them into 3/4 inch cubes*.
  • Put them cubes in the big ass pot full of water, salt heavily, and bring to a boil. Cook until a fork easily pierces the potatoes, about 30 minutes.
  • Drain thoroughly.
  • Add butter,+ {cream/half and half/whole milk/bletch/whybother?}, salt/pepper/brown sugar
  • Mash the damn yams.
  • Done!

SECONDLY: Cook the chicken breasts.

Droooooool.

  • Melt the butter over medium - low heat.
  • Thoroughly mix flour & paprika
  • Salt & pepper the breastses to taste
  • Coat with flour/paprika mixture
  • Brown on all sides
  • Add white wine, mix in chicken boullion
  • Cover. Reduce to low and simmer approx 30 minutes.

Optional! But good if making white potatoes on which to use the sauce/gravy:

  • remove chicken breasts to preheated warming oven
  • whisk cornstarch into dairy, add to pan and cook, stirring continuously, over medium high until thickened
  • Done!

NEXTLY, saute the Spinach.

  • Theoretically, you should remove the big stems from the leaves. In reality, ain't nobody got time for that on a Monday. Sort the spinach, make sure none of it is brown or slimy. I don't care that you just bought it on your way home - CHECK IT ANYWAY! You may be surprised.
  • Melt butter, in Enormous frying pan, over medium-low heat.
  • Add garlic. Stir frequently, cook until slightly brown and nutty.
  • Increase heat to medium, add the spinach - in bunches - stirring/turning continuously with tongs until desired tenderness.
  • Salt & pepper to taste
  • finish with lemon juice
  • Done!

Plate. Serve. Enjoy. Collect major accolades for minimal work**. What's your excuse for not feeding your family good food? Get in the Dogdamn kitchen already. Wanker.

*Yes, you can cackle gleefully and pretend that the yams are a particular Yam during this step. Also during the mashing step.

*It is the Way of Wonkette, is it not?

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