More Bad News About Planned Parenthood. For Republicans, That Is

Though not for long at this rate

You know how Republicans have been furiously jerking their little mottled boner stumps to their snuff flick fantasies of murdering Planned Parenthood? And we have been screaming what a dumb idea that is because everyone loves Planned Parenthood -- waaaaaaaay more than they love all the presidential candidates and the whole Republican Party, in fact -- and also, millions of women and boy-women rely on Planned Parenthood for their healthcare, and taking away people's healthcare, or even just threatening to take away people's healthcare, is a real dick move. It is also a real dumb move too:

Americans broadly support providing federal funding for free women's health exams, screenings and contraception services, a Reuters/Ipsos poll has found, suggesting that Republicans could be in risky territory if they continue criticizing Planned Parenthood as a key part of 2016 campaigns. [...]

Seventy-three percent of respondents said they supported federal funding for an unnamed group to provide women's health exams, 69 percent backed federal dollars for prenatal services, and 59 percent were in favor of it for contraception.

And lest you think, well, sure, everyone favors women's healthcare, just not at Planned Parenthood, because of how the Nazis there trick dumb women into carving up baby parts, for fun and profit? Nope, your dumb buttocks are 17 kinds of wrong about that:

When the question was asked a different way, more participants said they backed federal dollars for Planned Parenthood specifically to provide those services.

Democrats and Republicans supported federal funding for the services, even when Planned Parenthood was named.

Wait, even Republicans support federal funding for Planned Parenthood? Then who exactly are all this lick-knob Republican politicians trying to appease with their threats of killing Planned Parenthood? Certainly not this lady right here:

"We have so many young people having babies when they're babies themselves, and if they can get some kind of birth control or help or education, anything to stop that trend would be very good," said Renee Harrison, 57, of Waldo, Wisconsin.

Harrison said she is a Republican but was not happy with the party's stance on Planned Parenthood. "I may have to not vote Republican," she said.

So, if we are doing our math right, the Republican war on Planned Parenthood will alienate voters in their own party who will be like, "Gosh, I sure love tax cuts for the rich and think global warming is some kinda nonsense because it snowed in December, but if you take away my slut pills, I'm gonna vote for Bernie Sanders!"

Just a little somethin' somethin' all y'all Republicans might want to take note of, and yeah, we're talking to you, Jeb! Bush, with your plan to make all the ladies get their pap smears at church. And you, Mike Huckabee, with your threats to send the Air Force to carpet bomb every clinic in America. And you, dumb morons in Congress, who are less popular than HEAD LICE, with your plan to shut down the entire government.

Keep it up, and you're going to lose hard in the next election. FACT. Or you can just keep doing you, with the blah blah baby parts defund blah fart sounds, and then end up crying on Election Day because of how you lost AGAIN. But don't say we didn't warn you.



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