Michael Avenatti's Got Binders Full Of Trump Women, Sad Gross :(

GOOD MORNING, Michael Avenatti! Last night in West Hollywood, Your Blue Eyed Boy busted the news cycle wide open with news of three more women who got paid to keep quiet about bumpin' bits with Donald Trump before the election.

There are three additional female clients of mine that have not been disclosed that were paid hush money prior to the 2016 election, whether it be from Michael Cohen on behalf of the president, an entity that Michael Cohen formed, or AMI.

Oh, is that all?

We're in the process of getting clearance from those clients to release details relating to those payments and the efforts to silence those women by AMI, Donald Trump, and Michael Cohen. And I will tell you that at least one of those women claimed to be pregnant at the time.

HO. LEE. SHIT. President Bareback is going down! Those evangelicals will never put up with personal immorality in their leader. After all, these are people of God!

LOL, we are silly this morning! That guy could impregnate a dozen prostitutes in the middle of 5th Avenue and not lose any of his die-hard supporters. They're too deep in the orange to turn back now. Economists call it the Sunk Cost Phallus.

Too gross? Here, have a video of Your Boyfriend to cleanse your palate.

Last time I checked, they weren't just handing out checks to anyone, whether they had a relationship or not.

So don't even try that shit about paying strange women to go away as a cost of doing business, ALAN.

So, now what? Well, now we wait for the rest of the story to come out. But our biggest question going forward is, WHERE DID THE MONEY COME FROM? Because a whole stack of six- or seven-digit peener payouts didn't just come out of the petty cash drawer.

Did AMI front the money to catch-and-kill these stories to protect Trump during the campaign? And if so, did they coordinate the purchase with the candidate, perhaps intending to get reimbursed later? Remember, the tape that leakedlast month two days ago(!) proves that Trump and Cohen knew that AMI had bought Karen McDougal's storyexpressly to prevent its publication -- a tangible benefit to the campaign, and likely a violation of campaign finance law. Particularly since AMI was willing to sell the story to Trump for the same $150,000 it paid to McDougal, i.e. not even bothering to recoup the thousands of dollars in legal fees they'd paid to close the deal.

Was the money paid by the Trump Organization? Because there again you could have a serious campaign finance violation, since the payoffs massively exceed contribution limits. And hey, look there's the Trump Organization's CFO Allen Weisselberg getting subpoenaed to testify in the SDNY's probe of Michael Cohen's shady, shady shit. Hell of a coincidence that Trump's lawyer Alan Futerfas decided to call him a coffee boy two days ago, huh?

And even if Trump paid the money out of his own pocket -- there's a first time for everything, right? -- that's still a contribution/loan to his own campaign, which he had to declare by law.

Or could it be ... NO!!!! Even Michael Cohen could not have been stupid enough to take out another mortgage and launder the payments through that same ridiculous shell company that he recycled from the Stormy payoff for his AHEM, CONSULTING FEES, could he?


Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please click here to fund Your Wonkette, who is trying to remember what a slow news day felt like ... and drawing a blank!


Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc