Nebraska Pol Who Thought Women's Marchers Weren't Hot Enough To Sexually Assault Steps Down, Whines


“You won’t have Bill Kintner to kick around anymore,” said Nebraska state Senator Bill Kintner -- a man who would probably be kicked around much less, or even remain unknown to the general public outside of Nebraska, if he did not insist upon being so super creepy when it comes to women -- as he resigned from his office Wednesday morning.

Kintner is resigning after being criticized for RTing a charming tweet suggesting that Women's March attendees were not sexy enough to be sexually assaulted.

HAHA, see, it is funny because those women were referencing Donald Trump grabbing women by the pussy without their consent, and they are not the sort of women whom Bill Kintner would bless by grabbing them by the pussy without their consent! Because sexual assault is totally hilarious, and also a thing that only happens to hot chicks.

And speaking of blessing! Kintner's entire resignation speech was chock full of references to God, who Kintner claims put him in his state Senate seat to begin with. He also spent a great deal of time reciting the lyrics to The Byrds' "Turn, Turn, Turn," which I am told are also lyrics to the Bible.

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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