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Someone shut him up, plz.


Oh hey, Bill Kristol, how's it hangin'? You out there in America somewhere, bein' wrong? Duh, of course.

So, in case you didn't know, Bill Kristol, the man who is never always wrong, has been a big whore-pimper for the #NeverTrump movement, which consists of Republicans being ALL #HolierThanThou and #BetterThanThat about how they are never ever, ain't no never gonna stoop to such an uncouth level as to support Donald Trump for the presidency. But he seems to be having a change of heart, while still being totally wrong:

I mean, I guess never say never. On the one hand, I’ll say #NeverTrump, and on the other hand, I’ll say never say never. I’ll leave it ambiguous.

Saying two opposite lies does not make it "ambiguous," it makes it Bill Kristol!

Because here's Bill, back in March, saying what #NeverTrump is all about:

"I've made my 'never Trump' argument to other Republicans. The strongest counter-argument is, oh, you're electing Hillary. I don't think it's correct. I think the nomination of Donald Trump is what is most likely going to elect Hillary. And I think having a strong, alternative conservative would actually help Republicans down-ballot, and actually maybe in the presidential election, as well."

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/592689/spoiler-none-of-these-gop-jerkholes-are-going-to-be-president"></a>[/wonkbar]Though we absolutely 100% agree that nominating Trump will put Hillary in the White House, we have to rate that statement as #Wrong, because we explained MONTHS AGO that None Of These GOP Jerkholes Is Going To Be President. The #Correct statement would have been for Kristol to say that a rotten donkey dick with a "D" next to its name could beat any of the GOP candidates we've seen this election cycle. Oh, except maybe for Jim Webb.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/601139/speaker-paul-ryan-finally-letting-donald-trump-have-his-way-with-him"></a>[/wonkbar]Of course, as Salon points out, the whole idea of #NeverTrump has been that there must be "a viable Republican alternative to Trump," and now, especially with Ted Cruz's hilarious exit from the race after his OMG loss in the Indiana primary, that ain't gonna happen, 'less Paul Ryan decides to ride in naked and masculine on a white horse and save the GOP in a brokered convention.

Of course, Kristol changed his wrong mind to say "Never say never about #NeverTrump" a day BEFORE Ted Cruz officially failed to become the Canadian president of all the basketball rings in Indiana. He saw the writing on the wall, saying it's "pretty close" to over for Cruz's campaign on the same radio program. Amazingly, he was correct about that!

Therefore, Bill has to slowly, madly and deeply pivot from one wrong position -- TED CRUZ WILL BEATED DONALD TRUMP OR MAYBE SOMEBODY ELSE WILL, I DUNNO #NeverTrump -- to a different wrong position, which will eventually be that Trump will Make America Great Again in the fall, at which point Hillary Clinton will be elected president and Bill Kristol will still be #Wrong.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/526179/breaking-sarah-palin-does-not-have-a-future-says-last-guy-in-america-to-realize-that"></a>[/wonkbar]This, of course, is the man who "discovered" Sarah Palin and thought she was just great, and who also thought maybe Dick Cheney might be a good Republican to beat Hillary Clinton.

Uh huh yep, you betcha, Bill. Just keep on words-ing with your mouth, and we'll keep assuming the opposite of what you say is always true. Works every time!

[Salon]

 

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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