Never Wrong Bill Kristol Will Never Say Never About Donald Trump
Someone shut him up, plz.
Oh hey, Bill Kristol, how's it hangin'? You out there in America somewhere, bein' wrong? Duh, of course.
So, in case you didn't know, Bill Kristol, the man who is
never always wrong, has been a big whore-pimper for the #NeverTrump movement, which consists of Republicans being ALL #HolierThanThou and #BetterThanThat about how they are never ever, ain't no never gonna stoop to such an uncouth level as to support Donald Trump for the presidency. But he seems to be having a change of heart, while still being totally wrong:
I mean, I guess never say never. On the one hand, I’ll say #NeverTrump, and on the other hand, I’ll say never say never. I’ll leave it ambiguous.
Saying two opposite lies does not make it "ambiguous," it makes it Bill Kristol!
Because here's Bill, back in March, saying what #NeverTrump is all about:
"I've made my 'never Trump' argument to other Republicans. The strongest counter-argument is, oh, you're electing Hillary. I don't think it's correct. I think the nomination of Donald Trump is what is most likely going to elect Hillary. And I think having a strong, alternative conservative would actually help Republicans down-ballot, and actually maybe in the presidential election, as well."
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/592689/spoiler-none-of-these-gop-jerkholes-are-going-to-be-president"></a>[/wonkbar]Though we absolutely 100% agree that nominating Trump will put Hillary in the White House, we have to rate that statement as #Wrong, because we explained MONTHS AGO that None Of These GOP Jerkholes Is Going To Be President. The #Correct statement would have been for Kristol to say that a rotten donkey dick with a "D" next to its name could beat any of the GOP candidates we've seen this election cycle. Oh, except maybe for Jim Webb.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/601139/speaker-paul-ryan-finally-letting-donald-trump-have-his-way-with-him"></a>[/wonkbar]Of course, as Salon points out, the whole idea of #NeverTrump has been that there must be "a viable Republican alternative to Trump," and now, especially with Ted Cruz's hilarious exit from the race after his OMG loss in the Indiana primary, that ain't gonna happen, 'less Paul Ryan decides to ride in naked and masculine on a white horse and save the GOP in a brokered convention.
Of course, Kristol changed his wrong mind to say "Never say never about #NeverTrump" a day BEFORE Ted Cruz officially failed to become the Canadian president of all the basketball rings in Indiana. He saw the writing on the wall, saying it's "pretty close" to over for Cruz's campaign on the same radio program. Amazingly, he was correct about that!
Therefore, Bill has to slowly, madly and deeply pivot from one wrong position -- TED CRUZ WILL BEATED DONALD TRUMP OR MAYBE SOMEBODY ELSE WILL, I DUNNO #NeverTrump -- to a different wrong position, which will eventually be that Trump will Make America Great Again in the fall, at which point Hillary Clinton will be elected president and Bill Kristol will still be #Wrong.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/526179/breaking-sarah-palin-does-not-have-a-future-says-last-guy-in-america-to-realize-that"></a>[/wonkbar]This, of course, is the man who "discovered" Sarah Palin and thought she was just great, and who also thought maybe Dick Cheney might be a good Republican to beat Hillary Clinton.
Uh huh yep, you betcha, Bill. Just keep on words-ing with your mouth, and we'll keep assuming the opposite of what you say is always true. Works every time!
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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