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Breitbart seems nice.


One of our favorite things about Donald Trump's nonexistent "pivot" from the primaries to the general election is that, for somebody who thinks he's such a salesman, he sure doesn't know the first thing about his target audience. Oh, the toilet-water-drinking heathens who made up Trump's base during the primaries absolutely love racist, homophobic shit like Breitbart dot com, but normal people in the general populace? Nah. Urban moderate Republicans who can't believe Trump is literally their party's choice for president? Fuck no, they read the Wall Street Journal and listen to NPR, occasionally stopping to tut-tut at the silly liberals on the other side of the radio waves. They do not read Breitbart.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/605607/donald-trump-hires-breitbart-dude-to-fix-campaign-so-he-can-win-even-more"></a>[/wonkbar]So when Stephen Bannon stepped aside as head of Breitbart News to be Donald Trump's new Work Wife, the Democrats obviously saw an opportunity. "Holy LOLs, y'all!" they must have said to each other. "Breitbart is literally the racist, spittle-flecked underbelly of the entire right wing internet, but we bet a lot of normal people out there have no fuckin' idea what it is, or how utterly terrible it is. We should tell them about Breitbart!" That is probably how that conversation went. And thus a political ad was born!

Wonkette already featured some of Breitbart's worst headlines in a recent post, but here is the Democrats' Fancy Dan new ad, all tied up in a bow. Watch it while you drink whatever cocktails you people drink on Wednesday mornings!

Wasn't that nice? So which headline do you think will play the best with the vaguely Republican mom who's taking her daughter Madison and her gay son Trevor to H & M this afternoon because there is a big sale? "Trump: Hard For Women To Attack Me On Looks Because I'm So Good Looking"? Republican Mom (we'll call her "Debra") probably would get a good giggle from that one! And we bet gay son Trevor, who is voting in his VERY FIRST ELECTION this year, really loves the "Dear Straight People: I'm Officially Giving You Permission To Say Gay, Fag**t, and Qu**r" one.

How about the female president of the college Republicans who really wanted a chance to vote for John Kasich, but found the rest of the GOP possibilities this year utterly unacceptable -- do you think she'd like the "Would You Rather Your Child Had Feminism Or Cancer" one? Ooh, ooh, we bet parents of actual children with cancer would make a political donation after they see that one -- to Hillary Clinton's campaign.

So, which is YOUR personal favorite disgusting, racist, homophobic, misogynistic Breitbart headline, the one that would make you want to get on the Trump Train, for real? Feel free to discuss in the comments, which are not allowed.

[The New Civil Rights Movement]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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WHOA THERE, it is a #HotScoop about something happening that portends the wrapping up of the Robert Mueller investigation, one that we can actually believe to a point, because of how CNN seems to have some receipts for its story. (Unlike what we always hear from reporters who shall remain nameless, like Ken Dilanian from NBC News.)

CNN is reporting that "as soon as next week," new attorney general William Barr will be announcing the "completion" of the Mueller probe and that Mueller will be sending some sort of report to Barr.

And just like that, this is you right now: WHOA IF TRUE, IS IT TRUE? IS HE JUST GOING TO LEAVE LIKE THIS? BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN SAID GOODBYE!

And this is Robert Mueller right now: bUt We HaVeN't EvEn SaId GoOdByE!!!!!!!!

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Aimee Maddonna, of Simpsonville, South Carolina, is a nice lady who wanted to take in some foster children and give them a nice home, with her, her husband and their children. Her father had been in the foster care system himself, and her parents had always brought foster children into their home as well, hoping to give those kids a better experience than he had in the system. She had hoped to continue the tradition, and went to Miracle Hill Ministries, the largest and most widely advertised foster care provider in the state, to get started. At first, Miracle Hill told her that she and her family would be a great fit for foster kids and seemed excited to have them on board.

And then they asked her what church she went to.

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