Bernie Sanders won the New Hampshire Democratic primary yesterday, taking 25.8 percent of the vote, with Pete Buttigieg close behind with 24.4 percent, following their pretty-much-tie in the Iowa caucuses last week.

In related news, we would like to start a completely unfounded rumor that MSNBC's Chris Matthews is barricaded in his home, muttering that he'll never allow himself to be beheaded in Central Park.

In other news, Politico appears to have called New Hampshire for Chevy Chase, who wasn't even running.

Also too, Amy Klobuchar, following a strong debate performance and good results in Iowa, came in third, with 19.8 percent. It was a really not-good night for Elizabeth Warren, in fourth place with 9.3 percent despite being from next-door Massachusetts. That's what you get for not bringing in the hundreds of buses full of vote frauders, we guess. And poor Joe Biden didn't do well at all, with a disappointing fifth place (8.4 percent). Neither Warren nor Biden reached the 15-percent minimum to get any delegates in New Hampshire. Before Tuesday's primary results were in, Biden had hopped in his Trans Am and burned rubber for South Carolina (fine, he flew), where he hopes his generally strong polling with African-American voters will hold up enough to keep his campaign going.

Here's Sanders's victory speech for ya:

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So what does it all MEAN? It means that for now at least, we're going to be getting lots of very definitive takes based on two small, mostly white states' results, like "Buttigieg has more delegates, so he's the REAL frontrunner." That would be 22 delegates for Buttigieg, 21 for Sanders. Or perhaps Sanders didn't actually win New Hampshire, because lookit various combinations of vote totals from this one small mostly white state:

A Washington Post op-ed, meanwhile, explains that Sanders may have won, but the promised Youth Vote didn't overwhelmingly surge his way in two small states, so his political revolution may never happen.

A number of folks on the Twitters noted that MSNBC just plain didn't carry Elizabeth Warren's concession speech (a CNN spox said that network did so cover it), which also seems like an odd choice. Despite some premature political obituaries, Warren said she would stay in the campaign, because did you notice only two states have actually voted so far?

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Politico noted that Warren recognized early on that the totals weren't going her way, and that she congratulated Klobuchar on exceeding all the polling:

Warren conceded that she would not come out on top in the Granite State, telling supporters, "Right now, it is clear that Sen. Sanders and Mayor Buttigieg had strong nights."

But, she added, "I also want to congratulate my friend and colleague Amy Klobuchar for showing just how wrong the pundits can be when they count a woman out."

Bummer that Politico's headline treated both candidates like they were 12-year-old girls in 1999:

Warren also called on Democrats to knock it off with all the slurs, please, because how the hell is that supposed to beat Donald Trump?

These harsh tactics might work if you are willing to burn down the rest of the party in order to be elected. And it might work if you think only you have all the answers and only you are the solution to all of our problems. But if we're going to beat Donald Trump in November, we're going to need huge turnout within our party, and to get that turnout, we will need a nominee that the broadest coalition of our party feels like they can get behind. We cannot afford to fall into factions. We can't afford to squander our collective power. We win when we come together.

Is Warren in Deep Trouble? She certainly could be if she doesn't do better in Nevada and South Carolina. But hey, if you want to use the delegate count, she's in third place after two elections in small mostly white states, so I can confidently say she has the nomination in the bag.

[NPR / CNN / Politico]

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