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New Jersey Mayor Arrested for Trying to Make Internet Quit Saying Mean Things About Him

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What comical attempts at cliché villainy do we have out of New Jersey's ranks of local crony politicians today? Here's one: the FBI has hauled off West New York's Democratic mayor Felix Roque and his son on charges of hacking into a website associated with a movement to recall the mayor and then calling up the website's owner to notify the person that "everyone would pay for getting involved against Mayor Roque." OOOOOH-- ha ha, just kidding. Sarah Palin makes better threats to her own in-laws.


Here is the sordid-and-yet-lame tale of Mayor Roque and his double life as Foursquare mayor of spending time in front of his computer hate-fapping to his enemies' mean Internet comments about him, via the Star Ledger:

The alleged hacking began in February, when [Felix Roque's son] Joseph Roque was able to access the e-mail account of one of the recall organizers and used that to hack into Go Daddy, the internet service provider that was hosting the website www.recallroque.com. Prosecutors say he then cancelled the account without authorization, taking it down.

The next day, the mayor is charged with making a phone call to another individual associated with the recall movement with the intent of harassing him, telling him that he was aware that he had contributed information to the website.

...

According to the criminal complaint, Roque called up another recall organizer and intimated that he had the connections to take down the recall website by “highly placed government officials and that everyone would pay for getting involved against Mayor Roque.”

He wasn’t shy about boasting of those contacts, according to the complaint.

“A friend of mine. he works in the — I can’t tell you — three letters — CIA. You know. That’s how I get information. So what I’m doing is not very kosher,” the mayor was quoted as saying.

Oh man, that last one. This guy just sounds like the Gob Bluth of New Jersey politics. [New Jersey Star Ledger]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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