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HOW ARE THEY NOT ALREADY PALS?


Know that thing about how one side of Donald Trump's apple-headed vagina mouth is a xenophobic racist who wants to deport all the Muslims and the Mexicans, even if they are Americans, and even wants to ban all Muslims from entering America? But then the other side of his mouth is all about how he loves the Hispanics and the other minorities, he will make great deals, and he gets along with everybody, because he's so yoooge?

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/601590/london-has-a-new-muslim-mayor-and-the-stupidest-man-on-internet-is-on-it"></a>[/wonkbar]Funny thing! The new mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, who is a verified Muslim, is apparently not interested in being buddies with Donald Trump, even though Trump totally said he could be the "exception" to the Muslim ban. Aw, c'mon, Sadiq Khan, why you ain't wanna be Trump's token boy?

Khan accused Trump of having an “ignorant view of Islam” that could make Britain and the US less safe. “This isn’t just about me,” said Khan, after Trump suggested he might allow the new mayor into the US if he becomes president. “It’s about my friends, my family, and everyone who comes from a background similar to mine, anywhere in the world.”

The mayor of London made the comments after Trump told the New York Times “there will always be exceptions” when asked about how Khan would be affected by the ban. The Republican businessman added that he was “happy” that Khan had been elected.

How is that not good enough? Here's Donald Trump saying Khan could be a really tremendous, terrific, elegant mayor of London, and that they could totally forget about all that "ew gross Muslim" stuff, because, you know, he's the mayor of London. They could golf at the Mar-A-Lago, WOULDN'T THAT BE NICE? Just Trump and his Muslim pal, being pals! And all Khan has to do is leave all his friends and family back in the UK when he wants to go visit America, because you never know who they are.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/596626/president-donald-trump-will-kill-americas-heroes-dead"></a>[/wonkbar]Oh, and Khan better hope he doesn't ever end up having a sister who knows a dude who buys melons from a dude who met a lady one time on the bus whose grandmother sexed a guy once who had a falafel cart where one time a guy who was a ISIS bought falafel. Because then he might fall under scrutiny under Trump's plan to "take out [the] families" of suspected terrorists, even if they are bona fide American heroes, or even mayors of worldwide financial centers like London.

Khan does want to visit America pretty soon, but not to see Donald Trump, according to an interview he gave to Time. He wants to meet with other mayors and trade ideas about how to Make London Great Again, or whatever mayors do when they chit-chat. And from the way he, who is a Muslim, talks about how to handle problems of extremism and radicalization in western societies, we are guessing he and Trump wouldn't have much in common anyway:

What I think the election showed was that actually there is no clash of civilization between Islam and the West. I am the West, I am a Londoner, I’m British, I’m of Islamic faith, Asian origin, Pakistan heritage, so whether it’s [ISIS] or these others who want to destroy our way of life and talk about the West, they’re talking about me. What better antidote to the hatred they spew than someone like me being in this position?

LAME, he didn't even talking about bombing the shit out of ISIS.

In all seriousness, Sadiq Khan sounds pretty great, and we hope he will have a great time coming to America when our next president, whose name will never be "Donald Trump," is elected.

[Buzzfeed / New York Times / Time]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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