New Louisiana Governor Will Fill Bobby Jindal's Seat With So Much Gayness
His legacy shredded.
Elections matter, y'all. With term-limited Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal leaving office to spend more time begging the Duck Dynasty guys to let him be one of their white friends, voters had a choice: Do we pick that nice gay-hatin' "family values" Sen. David Vitter, and just hope he doesn't cover the state in his used whore diapers and then ask it to get an abortion, allegedly? Or do we pick this Democrat person, John Bel Edwards, who probably won't be so gross and pathetic?
By a 10-POINT MARGIN, Louisiana voters picked the less gross one, and that's having immediate consequences, because Gov.-Elect Edwards has announced he will do tyranny, by making life a little easier for the lesbitransosexualicious population of the state:
Gov.-elect John Bel Edwards plans to issue an executive order to protect the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community from firing, discrimination and harassment as state employees and government contractors.
Edwards' directive would cover state workers and government contractors in agencies and departments he oversees. But executive orders don't necessarily bind parts of state government outside the governor's control, such as the judiciary.
Are there quotes out there from "pro-family" groups about how "RELIGIOUS FREEDOM GRRR ARGH"? Of course. Do you actually want to hear their bitching right now, or can we just skip it?
Now you might be thinking, UH OK, how is that a big deal when it only affects state employees and government contractors? How many gays even work at "Louisiana"? Well to answer your question, there are seven, and most of their names are "LaFitte," except for the one named "Mignon." But this is a bigger deal than them, because, as we sexplained during the hullabaloo over the failed Houston HERO nondiscrimination ordinance, cities and states and towns and hamlets will pass laws affecting only city employees, but the idea is that those ordinances will encourage private business to follow suit. It's "trickle-out gayness," which is like "trickle-down economics" except for how it's homosexual and it actually works sometimes.
The New Civil Rights Movement 'splains that the incoming governor of Louisiana doesn't even personally support same sexxxy marriage, but we guess he's just a growned-up who understands that's the law of the land, and he wants to be governor of all the Louisiana parts. Or maybe he's just really having fun being the boss of David Vitter and wants to do things to make him sad in his wet diaper parts. That would be OK too.
Or maybe he REALLY wants to make Bobby Jindal sad, which would be even better. The Times-Picayune reports that Louisiana has had these executive orders in effect under Democratic governors in the past, but that under Republicans, they just seem to vanish like David Vitter's wedding vows. Jindal said former Gov. Kathleen Blanco's "Be Nice To Gays" order was "unnecessary," probably because he really hates gay people.
When Jindal was running for president (LOL), he responded to the Louisiana legislature's refusal to pass an embarrassing Religious Freedom Restoration Act (or "RFRA," or more aptly called a "Fuck The Gays" law) like Indiana did by stomping his feet, clapping his hands, issuing shouty-faced executive orders and promising that he was the only Republican in the race with a jaw strong enough to withstand the constant throat-cramming of the homosexual agenda. Then IBM and other Louisiana businesses scrote-punched him, and we LOLed.
The point is, eat a bag of wet gopher dicks, David Vitter and Bobby Jindal, and thank you to the nice-ish new governor John Bel Edwards for doing a Nice-Nice to the gays of Louisiana.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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