New QAnon Idiot Reps Gonna Call ‘Nuh-Uh!’ On Biden’s Electoral College Win

Right Wing Extremism
New QAnon Idiot Reps Gonna Call ‘Nuh-Uh!’ On Biden’s Electoral College Win

Donald Trump had always planned to steal the presidential election and disenfranchise millions of voters, as we discussed last month.

Trump and his goons telegraph a punch like the town drunk — you're never not going to see it coming. So of course they leaked to Axios's Jonathan Swan their not-so-super-secret plan to declare victory the second the vote tally shows Trump ahead, no matter how many tens of millions of votes remain to be counted. They're planning to freeze the count in the "red mirage" stage, before the absentee ballots, which will heavily favor Joe Biden, can be counted.

This is exactly what wound up happening. The ensuing complaints about “voter fraud" and “LEGAL (white) votes" were all bullshit. Fortunately, Trump has the mental stability of the Riddler and can't help broadcasting his schemes well in advance, so he couldn't prevent all votes from being counted.

Trump's original evil plan collapsed and once the race was called for Joe Biden, he was left with increasingly absurd legal arguments for overturning the election. He pressured election officials and state lawmakers with no success. Now that the Electoral College has officially declared Joe Biden president-elect, Trump is so desperate and pathetic, he's like the losers in Ocean's 11 who tried to rob a casino by just running out the door carrying money.

Trump is still holding onto a slim hope that Republicans will strenuously object to Biden's Electoral College victory when Congress meets to certify the results on January 6. This won't go anywhere because of, well, math (Democrats control the House), but it's a good opportunity for some Republicans to declare their contempt for democracy.

A couple of the more vocal promoters of Kraken conspiracy nonsense don't even go here yet. Colorado's new congresswoman-elect Lauren Boebert, a QAnon wackjob, has announced that she'll object to certifying Biden's win on account of all that voter fraud President Sore Loser couldn't prove even in traffic court.

"Several states removed voter safeguards during the 2020 elections that violated provisions in their respective state constitutions and the United States Constitution," Boebert said.

The Supreme Court disagrees.

"As a representative sworn to defend the U.S. Constitution, it is my responsibility to object to the Electoral College results that were recorded under these circumstances. The American people deserve secure and fair elections. Unfortunately, the 2020 election was neither of those things."

Republican officials in swing states Biden won such as Georgia and Arizona have declared the elections were “secure and fair." Also, Trump and his stooges conflate “voter fraud" with election rules they suddenly don't like when they mean Biden wins. Those aren't the same things. One of the reasons Trump's campaign kept getting laughed out of court is that the relief they sought for supposed “fraud" was effectively “Make Trump president again." There's no evidence that “massive fraud" benefited Biden exclusively and Trump would've otherwise won. There's zero evidence “massive fraud" occurred at all. Trump's own former attorney general, Bill Barr, confirmed that there was no election-result-changing fraud in the 2020 election.

Boebert doesn't care about the Constitution, which I doubt she's even read because she's as dumb as a box of Play-Doh. She admitted on Twitter that this whole stunt is about “fighting for Trump."

Congresswoman-elect Marjorie Taylor Greene from Georgia, another QAnon supporter, also plans to object to Biden's “fraudulent" win. Boebert won in a state whose votes Trump didn't try to set on fire, but Greene will be a brand new House member from Georgia. On what crackpipe theory is her victory in the state legitimate but Biden's isn't? She and Trump were on the same ballot.

Hillary Clinton fought for every Democratic candidate who won in 2016, but that wouldn't justify those Democrats objecting to Trump's Electoral College victory. Elected lawmakers should appreciate that we live in a nation of — wait for it — laws. It's not enough to get up in your fee-fees and cry “FRAUD!" You have to prove it. The Trump campaign's lawyers repeatedly stated under oath that they had no evidence of fraud.

If facts and the law don't matter, we hereby object to Boebert and Greene's victories. Speaker Nancy Pelosi should refuse to seat them. Fraud was obviously involved in their races because it defies logic that anyone would've voted for people this stupid. They must've had the voting machines hacked. We have no standing or proof but we have instinct.

Unfortunately, we actually believe in democracy around here, which means we respect voters' choices even when they're boneheaded. Boebert and Greene are authoritarians in waiting, and we'll be stuck with them long after Trump has finally left the scene.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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