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The writers are just recycling old scripts now and hoping we don't notice.

On Friday, Donald Trump announced his actual for-real nominee for director of national intelligence, and it is ... this dumb shit congressman from Texas he nominated before, John Ratcliffe. It didn't work out so well last time, because that dumb shit congressman faked half his resume and literally everybody hated him. Trump assured us last month, when he named far-right gay MAGA Twitter idiot and universally loathed Ambassador to Germany Ric Grenell as the (acting) DNI, that Grenell would only be scooting his butt around the floor of the DNI's office until Trump named a real DNI nominee. And now he has gone and re-nominated ... that idiot.

To be clear, Ratcliffe's nomination was embarrassing last time. GOP Senate Intelligence Committee Chair Richard Burr was not into it. Lots of Republican senators were not into it. The guy is a fucking clown who, again, lied about pretty much his entire resume. About prosecuting terrorists. About allegedly arresting 300 Mexican terrorist rapists in a single day. About everything.


Aside from the lying, and how he is just generally a really stupid guy, Ratcliffe is in no way equipped to be the director of national fuckin' intelligence. The Washington Post's Philip Bump tweeted a helpful chart when Trump nominated that idiot the first time:

By the way, according to the law, the director of national intelligence is supposed to have "extensive national security experience." That's one of the reasons Ratcliffe's nomination went to hell last time.

Here is a thing Ratcliffe, who Trump wants to be the DNI, said about the intelligence community almost a year ago, on Fox News:

"Think about that, a dossier funded by the Democrats, peddled through the Obama intelligence community, falsely verified by the Obama Justice Department, then sold to the American people by those very same elected Democrats and willing folks in the media."

He literally believes there was a "secret society" at the FBI, hellbent on bringing Trump down. Hoo boy. Intelligence guy!

He was the mayor of Heath, Texas, though, population 8,000, so that probably gave him all the experience he needs.

And hey, Ratcliffe was one of the yappy anger-poodles in the House who made it their job to scream and cry their way through the impeachment hearings in service of Dear Leader Shitlord, so that probably prepared him for this job.

We particularly enjoyed that time Ratcliffe angrily huffed, during the House's impeachment hearing with Ambassador Bill Taylor, that if Democrats were so insistent on saying Trump extorted Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, or that Zelenskyy obviously felt pressured, even as he was publicly saying he wasn't, that YOU ARE SUGGESTING TRUMP IS A LIAR! It was funny, because even Republican congressmen know Trump is a pathological liar. The fact that Ratcliffe meant to say mean Democrats were calling Zelenskyy a liar, because Ratcliffe has about a third-grade understanding of the geopolitical situation Zelenskyy is in, is irrelevant.

We call Republicans stupid a whole lot around here. But John Ratcliffe is really stupid, y'all.

So what is actually going on here? Is Trump, emboldened by how Senate Republicans keeled over and Susan-Collins-ed him into a fake "acquittal" in his impeachment trial, just doing this to prove he can bark orders at them and get his way? Or maybe he's doing this because Ratcliffe is unconfirmable, so it allows gay troll MAGA garbage human/possible literal actual foreign agent Ric Grenell to rub his butt on the DNI's office some more, right now when he's most valuable, as Russia and Trump gear up to try to steal another election. Can't have serious intelligence folks fucking that up, by, say, telling Congress that Russia is trying to steal another one for Trump.

Or maybe Trump, in his addled brain, thinks that next to somebody as grotesque as Grenell, Ratcliffe will look downright sane by comparison.

Pay attention, y'all. Miles to go before Trump tries to cancel the election and declare himself emperor for life.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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