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There's hope!


Here at Wonkette, we rag on the New York Times a little bit, but only when it's being THE WORST, which is only most of the time. Here, have a few Wonkette headlines:

"Now wait just a goshdarn minute," you are saying. "That last headline isn't about the Times sucking donkey balls!" IS TOO! It's a story about a Times INVESTIGATION!!!!1!! into the CLINTON FOUNDATION1!!!1! about all kinds of secret moneys and pay-to-play SCANDALS!!!!!!11! and it revealed ... absolutely nothing. If you read the Times's own article, there was no story, despite its !!!11!!! headline.

So we're pleased to report that the Times has taken a tiny step toward atoning for its many sins, by actually reporting a massive Donald Trump lie as a massive Donald Trump lie, and not pretending there's some sort of "both sides do it" angle that needs to be covered by the paper of record. Peter Beinart 'splains, over at The Atlantic:

On its front page, top right—the most precious space in American print journalism—the Times wrote about Friday’s press conference in which Donald Trump declared that a) he now believed Barack Obama was a US citizen, b) he deserved credit for having established that fact despite rumors to the contrary and c) Hillary Clinton was to blame for the rumors. Traditionally, when a political candidate assembles facts so as to aggrandize himself and belittle his opponent, “objective” journalists like those at the Times respond with a “he said, she said” story. [...]

... [T]he Times, once a champion practitioner of the “he said, she said” campaign story, discarded it with astonishing bluntness. The Times responded to Trump’s press conference by running a “News Analysis,” a genre that gives reporters more freedom to explain a story’s significance. But “News Analysis” pieces generally supplement traditional news stories. On Saturday, by contrast, the Times ran its “News Analysis” atop Page One while relegating its news story on Trump’s press conference to page A10. Moreover, “News Analysis” stories generally offer context. They don’t offer thundering condemnation.

Yet thundering condemnation is exactly what the Times story provided. Its headline read, “Trump Gives Up a Lie But Refuses to Repent.” Not “falsehood,” which leaves open the possibility that Trump was merely mistaken, but “lie,” which suggests, accurately, that Trump had every reason to know that what he was saying about Obama’s citizenship was false.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/606651/donald-trump-grants-president-obama-retroactive-citizenship"></a>[/wonkbar]Holy crap, NYT! Donald Trump is absolutely one of the ultimate birthers, and a well-known pathological liar. But the media has not been saying these things very good! And that press conference was absolute horseshit. Did somebody over at the Times offices decide to show up to journalism school this week? WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING? SHOULD WONKET TAKE CREDIT?

Let's look at the source article, and see what it OH HOLY SHIT AGAIN, the headline online is even stronger than the print edition:

This is some good shit, yo:

It was not true in 2011, when Donald J. Trump mischievously began to question President Obama’s birthplace aloud in television interviews. “I’m starting to think that he was not born here,” he said at the time.

It was not true in 2012, when he took to Twitter to declare that “an ‘extremely credible source’” had called his office to inform him that Mr. Obama’s birth certificate was “a fraud.”

It was not true in 2014, when Mr. Trump invited hackers to “please hack Obama’s college records (destroyed?) and check ‘place of birth.’”

It was never true, any of it. Mr. Obama’s citizenship was never in question. No credible evidence ever suggested otherwise.

Yet it took Mr. Trump five years of dodging, winking and joking to surrender to reality, finally, on Friday ...

THAT IS THE FIRST FIVE GRAFS. The Times goes on to point out that Obama released his "short-form birth certificate" (THE FAKE ONE) in 2008, and all normal, well-adjusted Americans got over it. "But not Mr. Trump," the Times adds. What did he do instead?

He nurtured the conspiracy like a poisonous flower, watering and feeding it with an ardor that still baffles and embarrasses many around him.

LOL GIGGLE!

The whole piece is worth your time, so we won't spoiler it. Let's see what Trump thinks:

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/575928/barack-obama-hates-maureen-dowd-as-do-all-patriotic-americans"></a>[/wonkbar]OK, to be fair, those two tweets came directly after he called Maureen Dowd a bag of crap, a statement all patriotic Americans including the foreign-born Obama would support, so they might not have been about the article in question. Regardless, we doubt Trump is real pleased with the Times's sudden about face in its coverage of his campaign.

Now look, we at Wonket are notoriously a bought-and-paid-for corporate Shillary for Killary. (Except for the paid-for part, ahem, Hillary campaign, WHERE ARE YOUR ADS?) But what the Times is saying is fucking true. It's not "unfair" journalism to say things that are true, whether you use many colorful "fuck" words like Wonket does, or if you say sexxxy words like "poisonous flower" and note that people Donald Trump knows are embarrassed by what a fuckshow he is. Those are just true facts. That, dear friends, is FAIR JOURNALISM. You might even say it is FAIR AND BALANCED journalism.

If there is no "there" there; if there is no legitimate "on the other hand"; IF ALL THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING ABOUT EMAILS AND THE CLINTON FOUNDATION HAS TURNED UP NOTHING EVEN RESEMBLING A GODDANG SMOKING GUN; then you should just say so.

We anxiously await the Times's upcoming retractions of all the other bad things it's published, which should surely be starting any minute now.

[The Atlantic / New York Times]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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