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Wasted Newt Gingrich Sees Polar Bears On Shore Of 'Lakke Michogan'

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What is it with this man and polar bears? He just sees them wherever he goes. Is it because they're the embodiment of the American Dream, which is to be as large and white as possible? Any way, it looks like he and his family got really drunk this New Year's. On LSD. Oh, we found a news report about this!


"He just stood out, and I'm like, 'That can't be,'" said John Enockson, 56, of Plymouth. "I just walked up to him and said, 'You're…' and he's like, 'I'm Newt Gingrich.' Oh. Bingo."

There you go. And then he starting singing "Bingo Was His Name-O."

If we are to be fair to Newt (though why would we be?), perhaps this is just his way of pandering to the 2012 electorate. He's choosing his own bear symbol, à la Sarah Palin, and his grammar and sense of reality are breaking down, à la the first caucus state's favorite senator, Chuck Grassley.

Haha, no. Newt is tripping on something. How else is he supposed to cope with the existence of THE GROUND-ZERO MOSQUE? [Twitter/Sheboygan Press]

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Here's the kind of weird election year 2018 is: Democrat Tammy Baldwin, among the most progressive of the ten Democratic US senators from states won by Donald Trump, introduced a "Made in America Act" bill earlier this month. It would require federal infrastructure projects to use US-made steel, iron and other products, and Donald Trump is an enthusiastic supporter. Even says he'll sign it. But both of the Republican Senate candidates from Wisconsin -- who otherwise insist they love, love, love Trump the most -- have staked out positions against the bill, because, um, well, a Democrat introduced it, so populist made-in-America legislation is probably secret socialism. America Not First if it's a demmycrat idea!

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You know what? It has been a LONG week, and I think we all need and deserve something cheerful for our Saturday open thread! Right? Right.

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