Nice Time! Five- To 11-Year-Olds Now Officially Eligible For COVID-19 Vaccine Magnetization!

Nice Time! Five- To 11-Year-Olds Now Officially Eligible For COVID-19 Vaccine Magnetization!

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has officially approved Pfizer's COVID-19 vaccine for children between the ages of five and 11. CDC Director Doctor Rochelle Walensky endorsed the advisory committee's recommendation Tuesday night. Roll up those sleeves, kids!

"Together, with science leading the charge, we have taken another important step forward in our nation's fight against the virus that causes COVID-19," Walensky said.

"We know millions of parents are eager to get their children vaccinated and with this decision, we now have recommended that about 28 million children receive a COVID-19 vaccine. As a mom, I encourage parents with questions to talk to their pediatrician, school nurse or local pharmacist to learn more about the vaccine and the importance of getting their children vaccinated."

Walensky appeared on "Good Morning America" this, well, morning and she looked delighted to deliver some good news for a change. Maybe you won't have to spend Christmas wearing a mask while chatting with loved ones over a computer, although I considered that a good time when I was single.

Just look at these happy kids who thought they were going out for ice cream!

The CDC authorization means that 28 million children are eligible for protection against COVID-19, which should help keep everyone safer from the virus that is deadlier than whatever imaginary vaccine side effects your cousin shared on Facebook. At least 791 children have died from COVID-19, including 172 children ages five to 11. There are no reported pediatric deaths related to the vaccine or even wearing masks.

President Joe Biden, who's having the fucking worst week ever, declared this "a turning point in our battle against COVID-19." He's generous enough to suggest that “our" includes all Americans, even though a significant number of GOP dullards are on Team COVID.

The Biden administration has ensured that there's enough available vaccine doses for every eligible child. The mature Republicans shouting "Let's Go Brandon!" won't even give him credit for this, of course. They'll just insist it's all part of Dr. Anthony Fauci's diabolical plan to inject their children with critical race theory. Side effects include advanced wokeness and feelings of racial self-loathing.

Despite a massive rightwing disinformation campaign, at least 59 percent of Americans are fully vaccinated. Vaccinating children aged five to 11 will only increase those numbers. Biden noted once again that the vaccines have “proven to be incredibly safe and effective."

Physician Ashish K. Jha tweeted Tuesday afternoon:

CDC's vaccine expert advisory committee voted 14 to 0 in favor of vaccinating all kids ages 5 to 11 These are our nation's leading physicians and scientists Most are also parents The vote was unanimous because the evidence is so clear Kids 5 to 11 are better off vaccinated

That's certainly rational, but we can expect that Tucker Carlson will claim the unanimous support is evidence of a Big Science conspiracy.

CNN interviewed eight-year-old Aren, who after bravely taking his shot said how excited he was to safely travel and see his grandparents.

When I didn't get the shot, I thought this mask was not strong enough, and, well, now I know my body is strong enough because I have the shot now, and I think I'm resistant ... I can't wait to give them a hug because I've been calling them every single day.

Grandparents love when you call them every day and will probably insist that Aren continue doing this until he's 30. “Remember, honey, during the pandemic, when you called us every day?" “Yes, Nana, but I'm a lawyer now."

I know we focus a lot on the struggle with the vocal minority that opposes masks, vaccines, and public health in general. However, most parents are thrilled to protect their children and consider the approved vaccine for kids an early holiday present. Now go get your kid vaccinated or we're putting a lump of coal in your stocking.


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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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