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Why is Nikki Haley noping out of the UN ambassadorship by year's end? Dunno! But we've got 2,020 guesses!

This morning, the Axios shoe phone rang with the news that the well-oiled White House machine was losing one of the last "adults in the room." Moments after Jonathan Swan broke the scoop, Trump tweeted a summons for reporters to race upstairs for a presser on yet another successful resignation. They said it couldn't be done, no one ever had such tremendous staff turnover. But Trump proved the haters wrong! Winning!


Haley smiled for the cameras and insisted that she was definitely NOT considering a primary challenge to Trump. It's just time to go because, oh, so many reasons. Like she can think of two-thousand and twenty reasons right off the top of her head! And Americans have nothing to worry about, because she's leaving the nation's foreign affairs in the capable hands of Jared Kushner, "a hidden genius that no one understands."

Anyway, her departure has absolutely nothing to do with the ethics complaint filed YESTERDAY by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) over flights Haley and her husband took on private jets with "friends" who happened to be South Carolina businessmen who donated to her previous gubernatorial campaigns. So just put that -- and all the other members of the Trump swamp who got in trouble for their hinky first-class air travel -- right out of your filthy mind.

Here, have a palate-cleanser.

Now poor Ben will have to work that much harder to pretend that THIS IS ALL FINE!

It's not that Haley was a good ambassador, really. But we have to agree with Shapiro that her departure is not a positive thing. She's one of the few Trumplanders who do evil shit on purpose, rather than stumbling into it by accident while high on Fox and bootleg Viagra. If she was going to stab the Palestinians in the back, at least she let them know it was coming. She was terrible, but in an entirely predictable way, so you knew what to pack for your trip to hell.

God only knows what nightmare replacement Republicans will jam through in the lame duck session. Gorka? Yeezy? Javanka? So many bad, bad options, so little time. Because right after the midterms we'll be revving up for the 2020 presidential election. Which Nikki Haley will definitely not be participating in! She said so herself in this resignation letter. And we all know that politicians never lie, right? RIGHT?

[Axios]

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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We know a few things about Donald Trump for 100% certain.

One is that his brain is broken. There are a million examples, but here's one, from this afternoon:

MICHAEL. FLYNN. PLEADED. GUILTY. TO. LYING. TO. THE. FBI!

A judge is not "looking into that situation," you fucking moron!

OK let us not get distracted, as that is not the point of this post.

Another thing we know about Donald Trump is that he sniffs A LOT. During all the debates, he sniffed. During lots of his Hitler rally speeches, he sniffs. When he's on foreign soil, he sniffs. When he's hunkered athwart his golden toilet Makin' Twitters, we assume he sniffs.

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My idiot brother used to get that face during rants

Kentucky's Extra-Crispy wingnut governor Matt Bevin sure knows how to pick a fight. A few years back, during his failed bid to primary Mitch "Top Turtle" McConnell, Bevin explained how "chicken boxing" was a benign pastime that even the founding fathers enjoyed, and also a great big states' rights issue. Once in office, he was, predictably, a reliable supporter of stupid ideas, like spending a lot of money to ramp up a "work requirements" bureaucracy to make sure fewer people received Medicaid, thus spending more but claiming he'd "saved" money. He also claimed this year that striking teachers probably caused an invisible wave of child rape and death, because kids weren't in school. No, of course there wasn't any such result, but hey, it's OK, Bevin eventually not-pologized.

Bevin's other specialty is trying to drum up a good culture-war panic, like that time in 2016 when he predicted there'd be bloodshed if Hillary Clinton were elected, because sane governors predict civil war all the time. That desire to warn of impending calamity seems to be behind Bevin's latest idiocy, a Twitter rant yesterday in response to national investigative nonprofit ProPublica's decision to partner with the Louisville Courier-Journal for coverage of state government. So it only makes sense Bevin would lose his shit over the fact that one of the many sources of funding for ProPublica is George Soros's Open Society Foundation. How dare those monsters bring their radical leftist "reporting" to the Commonwealth of Kentucky!

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