American candidates could just swap in a bald eagle


Wyatt Scott is running for the Canadian Parliament, which is sort of like Congress except that instead of being owned by Big Oil and Wall Street, it's owned by Big Oil and Tim Horton's. He's an independent seeking the seat for the new "riding" of "Mission-Matsqui-Fraser Canyon," which we gather is somewhere near Alberta in Saskatchewan. Haha, we are kidding -- it is actually in southwestern British Columbia; we looked it up for a change. Also, a "riding" is like a "district," except that, as we gathered from Mr. Scott's advertisement, it requires you to actually ride something, like perhaps a giant Canada goose.

You may be one of those people who never watches the videos on Yr Wonkette because they're horrible. And while that would be true if this were an ad by Rick Santorum or Ted Cruz, not watching Wyatt Scott's ad would be a huge mistake. It is the most wonderful, gloriously mad political ad we've seen, quite possibly, or at the very least it's tied with the Minneapolis mayoral candidate who marched out of a lake or Mike Gravel staring at you unnervingly for over a minute and then throwing a rock in a completely different lake. Only this ad has a much higher caffeine content. It was shot in ADHD-TV. You MUST watch it.

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We don't know or care what Mr. Scott's platform is. Actually, we know that he's for lower college costs, expansion of social services, and more power for indigenous peoples. (That last point is either undercut by the image of an Aztec pyramid in the background, or maybe it's an ironic commentary on how Anglos lump all First Nations people together? We simply don't know!)

Scott told the National Post that the ad was put together for less than $1000 in Canadian money (about 27 cents American) with the help of a team of computer graphics students. And why all the frenetic weirdness?

Scott explained, "Obviously, people don’t have attention spans nowadays, so we figured what can we do to draw attention?" Looks like it worked.

All we know is that Canada probably could do worse than to elect a man who can grow a beard with a single shake of his head, and then shoot lasers out of his eyes at the giant robot menacing the peaceful folks of his riding. Also, too, the guy does have an actual platform, and never mind the cheap special effects, he's a total progressive. As an Idahoan, Yr Dok Zoom looks forward to knowing Wyatt Scott is willing to keep the border between out two great nations safe from dragons.

[WaPo / National Post]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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