Congratulations to Texas's Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick whose BIG IDEA to lick this coronavirus by killing Grandma is getting a real life trial run.

"No one reached out to me and said, 'As a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren?'" Patrick derped to Tucker Carlson Monday night, as he urged Americans to get their lazy asses back to work. "If that's the exchange, I'm all in."


And now an entire nursing home is being evacuated because all the residents have coronavirus. But "protectively & lovingly," just as the president promised!

NBC reports that every resident of St. Joseph's Senior Nursing Home in Woodbridge, New Jersey, has been moved to another facility because so many of their caregivers have fallen ill.

New Jersey health officials said Tuesday that many of the residents of the St. Joseph's Senior Home had taken ill, and many of the staff were out sick as well. That meant there were just 3 nuns left to take care of nearly 100 people.

Of the 94 total residents, 24 are now positive for COVID-19 and the other 70 are "presumptive positive," government sources said Wednesday. They are now being moved from the Woodbridge facility to a CareOne home in Whippany, roughly 30 miles to the north.

This meant that the 61 CareOne residents also had to be moved, so that the St. Joseph's seniors could be quarantined at CareOne. Which is an enormous sacrifice in a time of crisis, both for the residents giving up their rooms, and the CareOne staff assuming responsibility for a highly contagious, vulnerable population. Blessed be the caregivers!

No doubt Lt. Governor Patrick called up the families of the St. Joseph's residents to congratulate them on their parents' patriotic contribution to the Dow Jones Industrial Average. Who wouldn't be proud to trade Pop Pop for an infinitesimally healthier American economy, right?

Yes, that joke is vile. This whole thing is disgusting and vile.

Because, make no mistake, THIS is what Dan Patrick and the rest of those "cure is worse than the disease" sociopaths are advocating. He can spew nonsense about "those of us who are 70 plus, we'll take care of ourselves, but don't sacrifice the country." In reality, this is a highly contagious virus which will rip through the elderly population causing mass casualties as the healthcare system quickly becomes overwhelmed, as it's doing now in parts of New York and New Jersey.

It takes some balls to blithely chirp "Let's get back to living," when you're talking about allowing an entire generation to die painful, horrible deaths ... alone. The same people who fantasize about "pain capable" fetuses are somehow unfazed at the prospect of hundred of thousands of elderly people drowning in their own lung secretions. Sorry, Nana, but thanks for rescuing my 401(k)!

Yes, another vile joke. Sorry.

The thing is, I love my parents. A LOT. And quarantine sucks, but it's nothing compared to the visceral fear that keeps me up at night worrying that some Ayn Rand-worshipping bastard wants to kill my mother to jumpstart the economy. What kind of ghouls would even suggest such a thing?

NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE MY MOTHER. I'd stay holed up in my house until the end of time to protect her, because I'm normal. WTF is wrong with these people?

The elderly are not expendable, the St. Joseph's residents are not expendable, no one is expendable. This is the richest country on earth, and we can goddamn well find a way out of this mess without a geriatric holocaust. FIGURE IT OUT!


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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