North Carolina Congressional Freshman Declares Barack Obama Terrorist Enemy Number One
We aren't even sure that it's news any more when a Republican says that the President of the United States is the worstest most horrible person ever, because that is like printed on GOP letterhead by now, isn't it? Still, this seems like maybe it's a new click of the old "He's not one of us!" hyperbole ratchet, possibly: North Carolina Congressn00b Robert Pittenger has sent out afundraising letter warning that the POTUS is actually an enemy of the United States of America:
You see, I am already on the front lines, taking seriously my oath of office: to defend the U.S. Constitution -- and you and your fellow Americans -- against all enemies, foreign and domestic. And for that I am being attacked from all sides, including from my fellow Republicans. My friend, make no mistake, Barack Obama is Enemy Number One!
Is this new? Maybe just a teensy step over the line? Honestly, we think it might actually be a novelty, in that it's not some blogger somewhere, but an actual member of Congress, the guy who chairs the Congressional Terrorism Task Force, who's saying not merely that Obama should be impeached, but that he is an actual enemy of the nation, and a worse enemy than, say, al Qaeda. Correct us if we're wrong, but that feels like a new one.
The envelope the letter comes in points out in large friendly letters that Pittenger is the "Chairman of the Congressional Taskforce on Terrorism & Unconventional Warfare," so he pretty much knows who America's enemies are, and it turns out that our greatest enemy is not al Qaeda or Vladimir Putin or any of those foreign terrors, but the winner of the 2012 presidential election. You want proof? Not only will Obamacare bankrupt America and abort all the babbies, Pittenger, who has been in Congress a little over a whole year now, knows that Obama is motivated by his "Islamo-Communist upbringing," which is all the proof that you need.
Now, we do have one or two quibbles with Pittenger's declaration that Barack Obama is a Public Enemy. For one thing, we don't think he's ever worn a comically large clock medallion. And for another, we're pretty sure he's never smooshed a grapefruit into Mae Clarke's face.
In any case, we urge Congressman Pittenger to share his findings with the FBI, which doesn't even list the President on its Ten Most Wanted list. And we'd also like to congratulate him on winning an instant nomination for Wonkette's coveted award for Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.