Last week, we had somemean namecalling for Ohio Senator Rob Portman. We were all, Rob Portman: Fuck That Guy. It was particularly trenchant, and well-said! But now the newest person to all of a sudden have seen the (big gay disco ball) light is a Democrat, so it is a totally different thing, and Kay Hagan, Democrat of North Carolina, is a fucking hero! Let us look at her Myface statement of support for gay marriage that is not at all a hot mess, and examine some of the other chapters of her autobiography, The Rogue, as well!

So here is brave Sen. Hagan's statement on gay marriage, which is pretty much about jobs and the economy, because it is not at all rambling or trying to distract or something:

Marriage equality is a complex issue with strong feelings on both sides, and I have a great deal of respect for varying opinions on the issue. After much thought and prayer, I have come to my own personal conclusion that we shouldn’t tell people who they can love or who they can marry.

This wasn’t a decision I came to overnight, like my Republican colleague Rob Portman expressed recently on his own viewpoint. Last year, I opposed Amendment One because I was concerned about the negative consequences it could have on North Carolina families and our economy. The fabric of North Carolina and what makes our state so special is our families and our common desire for a brighter future for our children. No matter what your family looks like, we all want the same thing for our families – happiness, health, prosperity, a bright future for our children and grandchildren.

Religious institutions should have religious freedom on this issue. No church or minister should ever have to conduct a marriage that is inconsistent with their religious beliefs. But I think as a civil institution, this issue’s time has come and we need to move forward. Jobs and the economy are the number one issue for me and for North Carolinians right now, and I’m not going to take my eye off that ball at a time when so many are still struggling.

Ahem. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN ON ABOUT, KAY HAGAN? You opposed the one man/one woman Amendment One for JOBS? And you are now for gay marriage because of JOBS?


Why do you make it so easy for filthy-minded Wonkers to have their way with your words, Kay Hagan? You have just served up your own words for a molesting. A HOMOSEXUAL MOLESTING.

Anyway, Kay Hagan, your Myface post was bad, and you should feel bad. Is there anything else you should feel bad about? Let's ask TPM, since they like to do this thing where they call senators to ask them about stuff or whatever:

“As the debate moves to the Senate floor, Senator Hagan will be looking for a commonsense place to start this discussion, which could be background checks, so long as it doesn’t infringe on the rights of responsible gun owners,” Hagan spokesman Christopher Moyer told TPM. “Senator Hagan always votes for North Carolina first, and she will continue listening to the voices of North Carolinians.”

So long as background checks don't infringe on anyone trying to buy a gun, (Democratic!) United States Senator Kay Hagan may be willing to discuss them. But probably not, since only 87 percent of Republicans and 85 percent of NRA MEMBERS agree that universal backgrounds are "common sense."

Kay Hagan, we award you one (1) limp flaccid lightly salted poisoned rat dick of sadness, and no balls.

[Facebook / TPM]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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