North Carolina Done Trying To Inspect Your Pieces While You Poop: A Nice Time!

HOORAY! It is nicetimes! Transgender people in North Carolina can finally pee without some halfwit yokel demanding to compare the bits and the birth certificate. Sorry, Jethro! Now go stand over the urinal and try to squeeze a couple drops over your enlarged prostate.

In March of 2016, North Carolina's gerrymandered legislature passed a bill requiring people to make wee-wee in the restroom corresponding to the gender listed on their birth certificates. WE MUST PERTECT THE WIMMINZ, they shout. What if little Mykenzee is using the terlit and she sees a lady with a peener? IRL, lady restrooms all have doors because tampons. But just try telling that to a hillbilly with no one left to look down on since they got rid of whites-only water fountains.

Fun fact: You can have complete gender reassignment surgery without changing your birth certificate. Also fun fact: You can change your birth certificate without having gender reassignment surgery. Also, ALSO fun fact: WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S JUNK? MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS, PERV!

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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