North Carolina Republicans So Sad Dead Scalia Can't Help Them Do Racism No More

We see what we did there.

Uh oh, North Carolina Republicans are so upset right now! Mean federal judges did reverse racism to the GOP-controlled legislature, with a recent ruling that the state's 1st and 12th congressional districts were racistly gerrymandered to hell, and thus must be redrawn. Gerrymandered to hell, we say? Like this bad:

The 1st Congressional District, according to the lawsuit, is “akin to a Rorschach inkblot” that weaves through 24 counties, containing only five whole counties.

So of course Republican lawmakers said, "Oh gosh, we didn't mean to shove all the black voters into their own little district. Let's fix it immediately!" Haha just kidding!

Oh, a redistricting committee has started going through the motions of redrawing the districts, JUST IN CASE they have to comply with the court's ruling. Did we mention the court's deadline for redrawing the districts is this Friday, like the one that comes after the day you are reading this?

But wait, you are asking, how does Dead Scalia factor into this? Well what happened was, these Republicans were pretty certain they could appeal to the Supreme Court, where they'd have five reliable votes for institutionalizedracism. That would mean they wouldn't have to redraw no maps, hooray!

But then Justice Scalia up and got pillow-murdered by Hillary Alinsky Obama or something, or maybe he died of natural causes. Which makes it a lot less likely that a majority of the evenly split Court will let North Carolina Republicans keep their racist redistricting maps, and they'll have to comply with the lower court's order to redraw that mess.

[contextly_sidebar id="3pBlHQaGXzxDmQMalGpfYE3ixVTD2b9u"]The Charlotte Observerspoke to Kareem Crayton, who specializes in election law at Vanderbilt University, and he said Scalia's journey to hell has pretty much singed North Carolina Republicans' hopes for this issue to be resolved in their favor:

“Bottom line: It appears the proverbial bill for this prolonged and delayed legal fight has now come due for the General Assembly,” said Crayton, a former UNC law school faculty member. “The short timeline makes it now pretty certain that they will have to draw a map that helps set things right.”

To be sure, Scalia was a reliable buttboy for these sorts of causes. He dissented just last year from a communistical libmonkey SCOTUS ruling that said if state legislatures are being overly partisan with their gerrymandering, it's legal to kick them in the nuts and deny them the right to redraw districts. (Hint: "Partisan" pretty much always means "racist" when it comes to this subject.)

[contextly_sidebar id="aGPXPiML0MyZJ6feKmXKRoYVHYaM39mY"]Scalia ALSO knew affirmative action was super unfair (to the blacks) because it forced them to go to tough white people schools, and why don't they just go to some nice The Blacks college where everything is taught REALLY SLOWLY?

But now he is dead, awwwww. Oh well, sucks to be you, North Carolina Republicans. Guess you're going to have to draw some new maps after all!

[The News & Observer / Charlotte Observer viaRawStory]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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